


Somehow

by tbk_day6



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:49:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 30,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22287403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbk_day6/pseuds/tbk_day6
Summary: He was your best friend’s best friend.You knew how best friends somehow fall in love.You should have been out of the picture.But somehow he saw you.
Relationships: Kang Younghyun | Young K/Reader, Park Jaehyung | Jae/Reader
Comments: 50
Kudos: 208





	1. Stranger

**Author's Note:**

> decided to post this anyway to keep me distracted from life. :)

You breathed a huge sigh of relief when you felt someone lift the other edge of your luggage you were trying to put on the overhead cabin.

“Thank you,” you said, turning your head to your good Samaritan. He was wearing a black turtleneck and a brown trench coat, his hair a bit disheveled as he moved to lift his own luggage. He tipped its edge neatly beside yours before he closed the cabin door and finally looked at you.

“No worries,” his foxy eyes were somehow smiling with his squishy cheeks.

You smiled back and nodded to dismiss him, a funny feeling starting within you, before moving to your seat at the center of the row—the seat you hated the most. _I should have paid for a reserved seat._ You mentally berated yourself under your breath as you sat down and eyed the window seat pitifully.

“Uh, excuse me?”

You looked up from fastening your seatbelt and saw the guy who helped you still awkwardly standing beside your row, effectively blocking two people who wanted to pass by.

“I’m actually seated there,” he pointed to the window seat beside you.

“Oh,” you felt the heat rise up your cheeks in embarrassment, as you tried to stand up and give way for him, only to be pulled down harshly by your fastened seatbelt. Of course he should be seated within your row. That’s why his luggage is on the same cabin as yours.

You heard him chuckle as you fumbled to remove your seatbelt. Of course, your clumsy side would choose to show herself right at this moment. “Why is this so hard?” you awkwardly laughed as you tried to calm yourself down. You could definitely feel his eyes on you as your fingers move of their own over the metal buckle. Something about him just makes you feel nervous.

“Here,” he whispered as his hands suddenly took over your unbuckling mission. “I’m kind of super blocking the way now,” he said apologetically amused.

You looked up to see what now is a long line of people impatiently waiting behind him. “Sorry!” you awkwardly said to no one in particular, but for everyone to hear.

Just as he got you free from the shambles, you immediately stood up and leaned back as close as possible to your seat to give way for him. He gave you a questioning look for a few seconds, but obliged anyway, shaking his head as he stepped sideways to fit himself on the space you gave him.

Again, of course, your clumsy side would show herself right at the moment when he was in front of you. You lost your balance and your knees bended weakly causing you to fall back on your seat. Almost. Because he suddenly gripped your arm tight to keep you up and sat you down carefully.

“There you go. I’ll take this seat now.” He chuckled as he slumped on his seat and fixed his own seatbelt.

“Thanks again,” you mumbled as you pretended to busy yourself on your phone to hide your embarrassment. After a few minutes, you heaved a sigh of relief as the captain announced your plane’s takeoff. You saw him take out a book and flip it on an earmarked page. You faked-clear your throat before you closed your eyes and pretended to sleep on this red-eye flight.

***

You jolted awake as the plane suddenly swerved to the side. You squinted your eyes open to see your seatmate fast asleep with a book over his face. _Huh. Was that what the book was for?_

_“Ladies and gentlemen, the Captain has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return to your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you.”_ The flight attendant announced over the speakers.

Your seatmate barely moved an inch, totally unbothered. You glanced at the title of the book he was NOT reading. _Le Petit Prince._ _Classic._ You thought to yourself before you got distracted by the view outside his window.

The skies has now started to turn golden as the sun blooms on the horizon. It’s a totally different experience seeing the sunrise from above. It was gloriously magical you couldn’t help taking a picture. You tried to lean over and stretched your arm as carefully as possible so as not to wake your seatmate. A few clicks and you couldn’t seem to get enough of the view as your plane slowly drifted over a mountain range.

You leaned back on your seat as you tried to find a new angle. His figure kind of gets in the way of your shots so you decided to just include him. His face was covered anyway, and it was just kind of just his silhouette against the sunrise. _He’s a nice subject,_ you admitted to yourself. Everything was perfect until the plane suddenly shook again.

“Shit!” you exclaimed a little too loudly as you dropped your phone. Of course, your luck would have it land on your seatmate’s lap.

The book dropped from his face as he suddenly straightened his body, waking up. He was a bit disoriented as he looked around and met your sorry eyes. He absent-mindedly reached for your phone in that space between his legs and handed it to you.

“I’m so so sorry!” you apologized as soon as you got your phone back.

“No worries,” he smiled as he eyed you sleepily before turning to his window. “Woah, sunrise…” he muttered. He took out his own phone and took pictures of the view as well. It looked like he was still half-asleep as he took a few shots.

You couldn’t help but smile seeing him lazily try to find the best angle for an aesthetic shot. And that’s what he saw as soon as he turned back to you, unexpectedly meeting your eyes again. You felt your heart skip a beat at the sudden eye contact. You stealthily avoided his eyes and mumbled an apology as you leaned back on your seat. You could definitely still feel his stare though, and you’re pretty sure your cheeks are now as red as a tomato.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” He suddenly said.

“Uh, yeah.” You gave him a quick glance and pretended to busy yourself again with your phone, editing your pictures. _Please don’t talk to me._

A few seconds of silence ensued as you tried your best to ignore him. “Do you want to exchange seats?”

This time, you turned to him, wide-eyed. But you forced yourself to hide your excitement over his offer. “No, you don’t have to—”

“I’m just gonna sleep anyway. We still have a few hours. This view deserves you more,” he smiled again. _There’s just something about his smile…_

“Is it really okay?” you hesitated, but you were already excited over the thought of seating by the window.

“I wouldn’t if it wasn’t,” He raised his eyebrow and nodded as if to convince you.

“Okay!” you accepted, almost too excitedly, your hands already reaching for your seatbelt.

“That wasn’t so hard,” he laughed at your reaction, “but the sign’s still on.” He pointed to the _seatbelt_ sign above your seats.

“Right! Sorry I got too excited.”

“And I have one condition.”

“Huh?” You looked at him to see if he was serious.

He smiled mischievously, “Where do you post your pictures? I wanna see it.”

Your forehead creased at his request. “Uh. Just on my _private_ account in Instagram.” You emphasized the word _private_ so maybe he could take a hint that you’re not willing to give it to him. No matter how cute he is.

“Okay, I’ll follow you as soon as we land. Give it to me.” He smiled a little too widely.

“It’s just a small account for friends and family. I’m no professional.” You tried to change his mind as you remembered some embarrassing pictures of you posted in there. Of course you wouldn’t have time to edit your feed cos there was no connection on the plane. _Should have turned it to a private account months ago._

“That’s fine,” He persisted.

You looked at him helplessly as if begging him to change his mind. You tried to think of the right excuse but you just ended up with mumbling “I don’t really like connecting with strangers.”

He nodded, amused, before chuckling, getting what you meant. “Brian. Not a stranger.”


	2. Block

You went to the restroom as soon as the seatbelt sign went off, escaping Brian (the not-stranger) for a short while. As you walked down the aisle back, your eyes immediately caught him seated on your seat. He cheekily met your eye and arched an eyebrow at you.

He stood up and went out of your row as soon as your reached. “Thanks,” you mumbled, happily making your way to the window seat.

“So…” he said as soon as he sat beside you again, “Your account?”

You rolled your eyes, smiling, before holding out your hand. His eyes sort of widened and cluelessly shifted back and forth between your face and your hand.

“I’ll just type it on your notes.”

“Oh.. I thought you wanted me to hold your hand,” he laughed as he scratched his nape guiltily while giving you a mischievous look. “I would have preferred that idea though,” he teased as he unlocked his phone and gave it to you.

You scoffed as you typed your username on his notes and gave it back to him, completely ignoring his last remark. “There’s nothing special with my pictures. Please lower your expectations.”

“But there could be something special about you…” he drifted off without looking at you. “How do I know this is your real account?” he changed the topic when he looked up from his phone. As if he didn’t just say something that made your heart skip a beat.

You just shrugged and turned to look outside the window to hide the smile creeping out of your lips. The sun’s already up, peeking through the fluff of clouds scattered around it. It was actually calming. You sighed contently as you leaned back on your new seat, temporarily forgetting your flirty seatmate.

“Ehem,” he cleared his throat. You turned to him, but your words didn’t come out as you unexpectedly caught his eye. “I gave you my seat and now you’re gonna ignore me?” he looked exaggeratedly hurt.

“I thought you were gonna sleep the rest of this flight,” you said pointedly, “and that wasn’t part of your condition.”

“I’m no longer sleepy. And I feel like talking…”

“Just go read your book.”

“I’ve memorized every page of this already. Have you read this one?” he tried to engage you in a conversation.

“I’m sorry, I don’t really talk to str—”

“Brian.” He cut you off with a smile, staring at you intently as if etching his name on your memory.

“I don’t really talk to Brians…” you mocked.

“What names do you prefer then?” he asked with a hint of a smile, completely unbothered by your blocking attempts.

“Anything but Brian?” you murmured as you took your phone out to take pictures of the sky again and pretended to ignore him. But deep inside, you were still very aware of his presence. You couldn’t bear staring at him for too long. And he kind of does that when he talks to you. And you didn’t like that funny feeling it gives you. And you’re pretty sure it’s starting to show on your cheeks.

“I have a lot of other names. And you can call me whatever you want,” he teased.

“Can I call you annoying?” you said sarcastically, giving him your fakest smile.

He laughed heartily, somehow finding it funny how you tried to dismiss him, completely unoffended. “Okay, I’ll leave you to your view then.” From your peripheral vision, you saw him take out his book again and pretend to read.

You immediately felt guilty for your behavior when he voluntarily gave you his seat. You sighed, putting your phone down and turning back to him. “I’m sorry for coming off as a snob. It’s just… I prefer my peace and quiet on plane rides.”

He looked up from his book and met your eyes again, smiling. “Nah. It’s cute how you try to hide your blush.”

“Huh. I’m not.” You didn’t know how to respond to that so you just went back to looking out the window, purposely hiding your face from him. You heard him scoff and chuckle softly. You closed your eyes and tried to pretend he wasn’t there.

***

Your eyes jolted open when you felt the plane land on the ground, not realizing you actually fell asleep. You absent-mindedly fixed your hair and wiped the sleep off your face. Your eyes drifted to Brian who was still fast asleep beside you, his mouth a bit open, looking like a baby.

You pretended to clear your throat a bit too loudly to wake him up. And it actually worked. His eyes fluttered open and immediately found yours. Taken aback, you couldn’t say anything as you fell into his gaze. He didn’t say a word as well, and you stayed like that for a few seconds or so. Until people started buzzing, standing up and positioning themselves on the aisles—something you never understood.

“Landed,” you murmured, breaking your moment and looking away.

“Good morning, stranger,” his voice was still raspy with sleep but he was already teasing. You gave him a forced smile and a pointed look as he started scrolling on his phone.

You hummed a response as you removed your seatbelt. You heard your phone buzz with notifications coming in as it automatically connected to the internet. You ignored it as you fixed your purse, getting ready to get off the plane as the crowd started to move out.

“You look cute in here,” you heard him say with a chuckle. Your hands immediately froze upon realizing what he was doing. You took your phone out and saw a follow notification from a certain _youngkgram_ and a bunch of likes on your photos, new to old.

“Oh my god.” You felt your cheeks turn red again in embarrassment as you tried to reach for his phone and stop him from scrolling further. He laughed as he stretched his arm to the side to get it away from you as he continued to scroll down and double tap on all your posts. “Hey! Stop!” you tried to control your voice but a few people has curiously turned to you two.

“Okay, okay. I’ll stop,” Brian laughed as he held your arms to calm you down. “For now.”

“Not funny!”

“At least I know you were true to your words.”

“Yeah, whatever. I’m gonna block you now.” _Stupid._ You should have done that earlier and not acted like a kid throwing tantrums. You reached for your phone which dropped on your seat amidst your earlier struggles, but he got to it first.

“Please don’t. I promise I’m gonna behave now.” He said like a kid.

You pointedly looked at him and held out your hand, “Give it to me.”

“Promise you’re not gonna block me,” he smiled and gave you his best version of puppy-dog eyes.

“That’s not gonna work,” you raised an eyebrow at him and raised your hand higher.

“And I’ll help you with your luggage,” he offered. “Good deal, right?”

“Just give me back my phone first.”

“Okay,” he said but he didn’t give you your phone. Instead, he held your hand and pulled you up and out of your seat. “Later. Come on.”

He pulled your luggage out and gave it to you immediately before taking out his own. You felt him snuck your phone at the back pocket of your jeans before he started pushing you out of the plane. You sighed as you let him lead you out.

“Someone fetching you?” he asked as soon as you were inside the airport, walking to the arrivals area.

“My friend.” You answered. You asked your best friend, Erin, to pick you up and she’s messaged you that she was already at the café at the ground floor.

“I see. I have to go out on this gate though,” he said pointing to the door on the opposite end of the café you were supposed to go to.

“Okay,” you nodded, wondering how you ended up on this situation, bidding goodbyes to someone you just met on a plane.

“It was nice meeting you. See you around.” He smiled at you warmly before turning around and going on his own way.

You sighed as you let yourself watch him walk away for a few more seconds. But he suddenly turned around a good few meters away from you, and shamelessly shouted, “Do not block me, okay?!”

His act caused quite a few people turning heads curiously. He turned back around and ran out in embarrassment, you just couldn’t help but laugh and shake your head as you started walking away.

You reached for your phone from your pocket, scrolled through your Instagram account and followed _youngkgram_ back.


	3. Good Night

“I’ve missed you!” Erin squealed and stood up immediately upon seeing you enter the café. She excitedly gave you a hug as soon as you reached her table.

“I was only gone for a few weeks, Erin.” You couldn’t help but laugh at her bubbliness.

“Yeah, but I missed you,” she said as she sat down and pushed a cup of coffee towards you. “I cleaned up the house.”

“And you’re proud of that?”

“Of course!”

“I’d do a spot check later,” you laughed as you reached for your coffee. You’ve been living with her for a year now ever since you started working at this company together. You were never the friendly type but you just instantly clicked with her. She never gets affected by your mostly cold demeanor but instead balances it with her warmth.

“My best friend actually told me he’s arriving today from Korea, too. I just don’t know what time his flight is.” She muttered, scrolling on her phone.

“Who?”

“My best friend.” Her eyes glimmered like they always do whenever he comes up in conversation.

“Oh. He-who-must-not-be-named.” You scoffed nonchalantly. “Which reminds me, where’s my bribe? I’m gonna tell Sungjin if it’s not up to par.”

“Shut up.” She jokingly threw you a tissue. “I told you, I’m long over him. We never happened anyway.”

“I don’t know. You just look really different when you talk about him,” you laughed as you threw her tissue back.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She picked her coffee up and avoided your eyes as she took a sip. “We have to buy some groceries on the way home cos we don’t really have food at home. Are you still up for that or you wanna rest first?”

Ever since that night you two got wasted drunk two months ago and she accidentally told you all about her childhood best friend, whose name she never told you and to whom she’s been unknowingly secretly in love with since forever, you started to notice how different it is whenever she talks about her boyfriend and her best friend. But, of course, she’d always deny that and try to change the topic.

You shrugged it off and decided not to push her. “I’m fine. I have a few things to buy too.”

“Oh, wait. Did you buy me that thing I asked you to?”

You nodded, rolling your eyes at her, “Of course, Madamme.”

“Did you meet anyone on your trip?” she raised a teasing eyebrow at you, smiling mischievously. It’s really amazing how she could just jump from topic to topic in a span of a minute. Your thoughts immediately drifted to a few hours ago, with Brian… but you chose to keep your mouth shut. It’s inconsequential anyway. She doesn’t have to know. Yet.

“Nah.” You put your cup down and reached for your phone, suddenly remembering how you followed him back. You couldn’t help but smile upon seeing tons of notifications again from _youngkgram,_ but your heart skipped a bit seeing a direct message from him.

**AHA!  
** **Thanks for the followback. LOL.**

“Okay, what’s that smile?” she teased.

You pulled the corners of your lips down, “What?”

“You can’t hide that from me!” she whined as she attempted to reach for your phone. You laughed as you put it back on your purse.

“It’s just a meme, Erin,” you tried to convince her.

“I’m not naïve, Y/N.”

“It’s nothing. Really. You know I’d tell you otherwise.”

She gave you a suspicious, scrutinizing look as she sat back down on her seat. You know you couldn’t avoid this forever.

You laughed and stood up, “Could you let it go just for today?”

“Hah! So there is something. But okay,” she pouted.

“Thank you! Let’s go.”

***

**Hi!  
** **Are you home?  
** **You’ve seen my dms.  
** **Why are you ignoring me?**

You saw his messages while you were on the grocery but you ignored it to avoid further suspicion from Erin. Only now when you’re safe in your room did you decide to open it again and reply, maybe? It’s already 3 in the afternoon and you wondered if he’s still up.

**Yep.**

You smiled to yourself as the dots appear right after you sent your message.

**Yep as in u’re home? Or yep as in u’re ignoring me?**

**Both**

**Ouch. 💔**

**I’m home.**

**Me too.  
** **I’m waiting for you to post the pictures from earlier. 😉**

**I’m tired. Maybe tomorrow.  
** **It’s nothing special. Why are are you bugging me abt it?**

**I have a hunch you took a picture of me. LOL**

**In your dreams.**

**A man can dream. 🤪  
** **Go rest and sleep for now.**

**Okay...**

**Okay…**

So what do you reply to that? You unconsciously smiled to yourself as you lied down on your bed. You decided to visit his profile when he suddenly posted an IG Story—it was a video of him saying _good night_ whilst smiling a bit too happily. You felt a fluttering feeling start in your tummy as you tried to stop yourself from assuming it was for you. _Maybe he’s going to sleep too?_

Just then, you received another direct message notification from him. He sent you his IG story.

**I couldn’t tag you. You’re too private. 🙃  
** **Good night, Y/N.  
** **It was really nice meeting you. 😊**


	4. Okay

_youngkgram_ liked your post.

You smiled instantly upon seeing his name on your notifications as soon as you posted that picture of the plane sunrise from yesterday. At this point, you were already kind of expecting him to.

_youngkgram_ sent you a message.

**Are you free Saturday?**

Your eyebrow raised in amusement as you typed in a response. But before you could even start, another message came in.

**Wait, can I just call?**

You immediately rose up from your bed, hair disheveled from bumming out the whole day. Erin was out with Sungjin and you were too lazy to go make plans for yourself. You palmed your hair in efforts to at least make yourself presentable. _Wait, it’s just a call._

**Y/N?**

**Please don’t leave me on ‘read’.**

You panicked as soon as your phone rang with a video chat invite from him on IG. You deliberated for like five seconds if you should answer it but your finger somehow got ahead of you and answered his call before you could even stop yourself. You saw his eyes widen as his face filled up your screen, trying to tame down that cute amused smile plastered on his face.

“Hey,” he started, wiping off an imaginary dirt on his camera.

“How can I help you?” you felt giddy but you tried to mask it off with a fake scowl.

He laughed at your question but answered you with a “You look pretty.”

“Okay?” You felt yourself blush with his remark. His squishy cheeks were up from too much smiling and you can definitely see his futile attempt to tone it down. “Why are you smiling like that?” you couldn’t help but ask. And you couldn’t help but smile with him.

“I’m just glad you answered my call.”

“Are you always this straightforward?”

“Is this already straightforward for you? I haven’t even started…” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes at him, “I’m not naïve.”

“I love seeing you blush.”

“I’m not.” You reverted your camera to the back camera to hide your face. “I have to go.”

“No, wait!” he panicked. “I just wanted to ask you something.”

“What?” your fingers fidgeted with the edges of your phone. You’ve just met him, you barely knew him, but something in him kind of makes you feel comfortable. Like you’ve known each other for so long and it doesn’t help that he acts like he’s known you for so long.

“Can you revert the camera back to your face first?”

“I feel better like this,” you reasoned.

“Okay, then,” he sighed, “But here’s the thing. You know how I scrolled through every photo you’ve posted?”

You suddenly felt your embarrassment creep in, “Yeah and I hate you for that.”

“Well, I kind of saw how you like this band and it just so happened I have an extra ticket for their concert on Saturday so I was just wondering if you maybe wanna come with me?” he mumbled breathlessly, like he was actually nervous.

“Which band?!” you asked, starting to get excited.

“Switch to front cam first,” he teased.

You immediately switched your camera back. “Which band?!” you repeated, your pitch a bit higher than usual. You love watching your favorite artists live and you’ll never say no to free tickets.

“Wow, look who’s excited… It’s Coldplay.”

“WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!” You exclaimed a bit too loudly. Good thing Erin’s not home yet.

He laughed at your reaction and shrugged his shoulders proudly.

“REALLY THOUGH?!”

“Really.” He nodded.

“But they’re already sold out. And tickets were really hard to get,” you eyed him doubtfully, remembering that fateful ticketing day when you failed to get ticket for their show even after a thousand tries. All you could do was post a frustrated, heartbreaking message for them on IG and that’s what he might have seen.

“I have connections,” he playfully winked at you.

“Really?” was all you could say, still unbelieving him.

“So is that a yes?”

You nodded enthusiastically, “YES! I’ll pay you for the ticket!”

“What?! NO!”

“But—”

“I wasn’t trying to sell you the ticket, Y/N. I was asking you out on a date.”

“But those tickets were crazy expensive and… wait, what did you say?” you blubbered, realizing what he meant a tad late. You felt heat rush to your face again.

“I’m asking you out on a date,” he repeated patiently, smiling nervously.

“Why?” you asked in a small voice, you could definitely feel your heart pounding on your chest.

“What why?” he laughed.

“We’ve met just a few days ago, and that was just for a few hours?”

His hand brushed his hair off his face nervously. “That’s why I’m asking you out. To get to know you more.” It could have been your imagination, but his voice might have quivered a little.

“Okay, so this is too straightforward. You’re really something, huh?”

“Is that my yes?” he moved closer to his camera, his face filling your screen more.

You let out a sigh, acting as if you were getting the short end of the stick. “I can never say no to Coldplay.”

“That’s technically a yes, but can I hear a ‘yes’ for Brian?” he grinned. It was cute how he just talked about himself in third person. Annoyingly cute. His lips pouted a little as he scrunched his nose. _What a deadly combination._

“Yes, Brian. You’re so annoying. I can’t believe you’re actually bribing me with Coldplay.”

“Okay….” He leaned back, sighing what seemed to be a sigh of relief. “Okay,” he repeated.

“Okay,” you said back.

He looked at you again and nodded. “Okay.” His eyes glimmered with that smile that never seemed to leave his face.

“Okay?” You laughed at the ridiculousness of your exchange.

“Okay,” He laughed too, realizing how you’re somehow both out of words. He heaved a deep breath before talking again. “Is it okay to go to sleep now?”

“Why are you…” Now that he’s said it, he actually did seem pretty sleepy. “Of course. Not that I have any right to tell you otherwise. But yeah, go forth.”

“Okay, I’ll go to sleep now,” he smiled cutely before moving closer to his camera again, you thought he was gonna give you a good night kiss through the screen. But instead, he just murmured a soft “Good night, Y/N,” before the screen turned black.   
  


_What a tease._


	5. Barricades

“Let me pick you up.” Brian whined over the phone the night before the concert. Sometimes you regret giving him your number ‘cos now he calls whenever he wants to, catching you off guard most of the times.

“No. Let’s just meet there.” You rejected his offer as you furiously typed on your keyboard, finishing a report due on Monday but you won’t be able to do over the weekend because of your supposed date with Chris Martin. And Brian. Besides, Erin would be home and you weren’t ready yet to explain him to her.

“Why not? It’s not like we aren’t close. You just have to tell me where you live,” he reasoned like a kid throwing tantrums.

“Well, we aren’t close—“

“Yet.” He suggestively cut you off.

You rolled your eyes and scoffed. “And you sound like a creepy stalker. I’ll tell you where I live on the third date.”

He laughed gleefully. “On the third one, you say? I’ll take that. Where are you gonna take me?”

_Shit._ Sometimes you wish you could just cut your tongue off. This is why you don’t like taking phone calls – your uncensored, unfiltered thoughts usually come out. Unlike chatting, where you could always do a double take on your words until it sounded right. You cleared your throat and tried to ignore his teasings.

“Okay, I’ll wait for you at this café near the venue at around 4PM then?” he asked.

“What? No! We have to line up for the barricades. We have to be there at like 6AM.” Your voice turned up a few notches higher at the ridiculousness of his offer. It’s THE Coldplay. And you fully intend to be at Chris Martin’s arm’s length.

“LOL. You’re funny,” he laughed again, assuming you were joking.

“I’m serious.”

“You can never make me line up that early.” He said matter-of-factly. “No matter how much I like you.”

Your words were caught in your mouth hearing his last remark. Damn this guy for always dropping you mushy stuffs.

“Oh, have I told you that already?” he asked as if having second thoughts.

“What?”

“That I like you?”

You scoffed in disbelief, unable to hide that giddy feeling that started inside you. “You’re so weird.”

He chuckled at your response, “I can totally see you blushing right now.”

“Whatever, flirt. I have to go.” You said as you unceremoniously dropped his call and shut your laptop off. You won’t be able to go back to working like this anyway. You slouched back to your seat and thought of the past few days of him bugging you... and you letting him. It’s the first time in years that you unconsciously smile again... and for a stranger, that is. _How could he possibly like me this soon though?_

Just then, your phone buzzed with a text message from Brian.

**Okay. 6AM it is.**

**Please wake me up.**

***

You woke up with a start the moment your alarm rang. You blindly reached for your phone on the nightstand and snoozed it. Eyes half-open, you saw the reminder Brian sent you yesterday pop out, _‘Wake me up!_ _:)'_

You sleepily dialed his number while you try to steal a few more minutes of sleep. The phone rang for quite some time without him answering. _Is he still asleep?_

You tried calling him again, now fully awake, worrying if he could wake up on time. When he still hasn’t answered after a few more minutes, you decided to get up and get ready. _I’ll just try to call him again later._

It was already 5:30 when you finished preparing that your phone started ringing. It was a videocall from Brian. You hesitated answering since you were still not fully made up. You’ve just finished putting on a comfy pair of pants and Coldplay concert shirt, and was about to put on a little makeup. But yeah. Of course, you ended up answering anyway.

“Good morning!” His bright aura immediately radiated towards you, if that was even possible.

“You’re done prepping?” you asked, surprised he was already on his car, drinking his cup of coffee.

“I barely slept. Been up since 4AM. I left my phone in the car while I was buying my second cup of coffee. Sorry about that.” He smiled as he showed you another cup of coffee, untouched. “This one’s for you, if you make it on time.”

“Huh. You’re underestimating me. I’m just 20 minutes away. Is there a line already?” You put your phone up near your mirror and started getting on with your business while talking to him.

“Maybe? I saw a few people with this shirt on,” He pointed to the shirt he was wearing and realized it was the same as yours.

“Oh my God. So you weren’t really faking it.” You laughed, just noticing how you were wearing the same shirt, realizing how he’s really a fan of Coldplay too. Was it too assuming of you to think he faked his reason?

“Coldplay forever!” He thumped his chest and raised his fist to the air.

“Show-off. Anyway, you should line up already then! I’ll meet you on the line.”

His forehead immediately creased. “But—“ he hesitated.

“Please? We have to get to the barricades!”

He sighed as he took a sip of his coffee again, and shook his head in disbelief. “The things I do for you...”

You smiled widely, holding your lipstick in the air. “Thanks, Bri.”

He paused, clearly taken aback by how you called him, but very quickly recovered. His eyebrow raised in amusement, as he chuckled softly. “You’re cute.”

“I know,” you rolled your eyes at him, deciding to go with the flow. “See you in a few?”

“Can’t wait.”

***

Upon reaching the venue, you immediately saw him, standing tall and out of place in between a group of girls, probably a year or two younger than you, who were obviously gushing over him. Even from afar, he just can’t help but stand out. And he was just there, casually sipping on his cup of coffee, scowling while scrolling on his phone. Just like anyone else. But he somehow doesn’t blend in. He stands out. Too much.

“Hey!” You approached him with a careful smile. It was the first time you saw him again after the plane incident. And no, video calls don’t count. It doesn’t give him justice.

His scowl immediately turned upside down upon seeing you. “Hey!” He handed you a cup of a now-cold coffee.

“Cold. But thanks?”

“That coffee was too lonely waiting for you,” he said with a cute little pout.

“I’m sorry, coffee. I’d still take you though,” you laughed and took a sip of your energizer.

You spent the next hours in line, just casually chatting about all sort of things. You were used to these kind of things but you wondered if he is. He seemed quite comfortable the whole time, like he was actually enjoying it. Except for one time you heard his stomach grumble in hunger. You laughed it off as he excused himself to go to the restroom and coming back with a whole bag of chips, bread, and drinks.

“This one’s your fave, right?” He asked as he gave you a bottle of watermelon juice.

“How did you—“ you froze midsentence when his hands suddenly took yours and put the bottle in your hand. Your heart fluttered with the sudden contact.

“I’m a stalker.” He playfully winked at you.

The whole place was buzzing with excitement as people started entering the venue around 4PM. And yes, all that waking up early and lining up was worthit cos you got barricades! It was the perfect spot, smack right at the center of the extended stage. You couldn’t wipe the grin off your face as you set your hands on the barricades in front of you, with Brian beside you. You couldn’t care less about all the other people trying to squish you in, pushing each other off. _I got to the barricades!_

Brian crouched low to reach your ear before whispering, “Uh, I think I should be behind you.”

“Why?” you looked up to him curiously, slightly dazed by how close his face was to yours.

“You’re getting squished,” he said before turning to the girl behind him and giving her his spot at the barricade. The girl squealed in glee, thanking him excitedly.

Brian wasted no time positioning himself behind you, his hands beside your hands on the bars, effectively enclosing you in his arms. It may sound cliché but it did seem like everything went in slow-mo as you felt him breathe softly at the top of your head, your hands lingering with the faintest touch.

“You good?” He whispered close to your ear.

“Yeah.” _Right._


	6. Star

As soon as the front act has ended and the intro video has started playing, you were a goner.

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,” you kept on chanting, no longer caring how Brian judges your fangirl side. The crowd was buzzing with excitement and you all collectively squealed the moment the xylobands lit up. You lifted your arms to the air, breathing in the concert vibes as the countdown started.

10…

9…

8…

Just then, you realized your xyloband wasn’t lighting up. “Why is this not working?” you whined to Brian. He may or may not have heard you because it was already too loud, but he saw how you tinkered over your xyloband while his lit up along with everyone else’s.

“What’s wrong?” he murmured.

“It’s not working,” you said, showing him your xyloband, like a kid showing her wound to her dad.

7…

6…

5…

He scoffed and wordlessly took his xyloband off and put it on your wrist.

“Hey, I’m not asking you to—”

“It’s fine, I don’t need it.” He said, as he tightened the strap and slid the defective one off you and put it on.

“But—”

“Sshh. It’s starting!”

4…

3…

2…

“We can share,” he took your wrist with the xyloband on and held it up. His hand slowly moved from your wrist to tangle his fingers with yours as he waved your hands in the air. “I like it better this way.”

He was still effectively shielding you with his other arm on the barricade as he hummed along, your hands weirdly intertwined but in a comfortable way. In usual times, this kind of contact might have stirred you up again to awkwardness giddiness, but you chose to bask in the moment.

The fireworks has started going off, and Coldplay was on the stage.

_Oh, I think I landed in a world I hadn’t seen_

_When I’m feeling ordinary_

_When I don’t know what I mean_

You were already going crazy seeing them live on stage, like the real persons that they are. You felt like your heart was bursting through your chest. But no, it’s not all on Coldplay.

***

Throughout the concert, your feelings were all over the place. Your fangirl heart was super overwhelmed, no words could ever express what you felt. Somewhere along the way, you somehow forgot how Brian is just behind you, probably laughing at how you fulfilled your fangirl dreams – jumping, crazy screaming, out-of-tune singing-along to every word. You’ll deal with him later.

The crowd has turned quiet as the band moved to the C-stage, the small stage in your area bound for their acoustic set—one of the things you were most looking forward to. Chris chatted with the crowd for a while as they got ready for the next song. It was the part where they take in a fan request and sing a song they don’t usually sing.

Everyone anticipated what they’re gonna sing and the moment you heard them playing that all-too familiar intro to your favorite song, you immediately started tearing up.

_Got a tattoo that said ‘together through life’_

_Carved in your name with a pocket knife_

_And you wonder when you wake up, will it be alright?_

_Feels like there’s something broken inside_

You sobbed quietly as the words filled your whole being. You tried to keep it down, embarrassed Brian might see your tears. But who are you fooling anyway?

He might have felt your shoulders shudder, or might have noticed how you turned quiet all throughout the song. No longer screaming or singing along. You felt him get closer to you, if that was even possible, and hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, as if asking for permission. You impulsively leaned back to his embrace as you tried to control your sobs. You felt him tighten his embrace as he rested his chin on top of your head. His fingers daintily touching your cheek to wipe your tears away, as you heard—felt him softly hum to the music.

_All I know, all I know_

_Is that I’m lost whenever you go_

_All I know is that I love you so_

_So much it hurts_

The music filled the air… the crowd was loud… but you’ve never felt so calm. _How can moments like this be loud and quiet at the same time?_

***

As the concert neared its end, the songs were lively again and your little moment with Brian was broken by you jumping up and down again, screaming your heart out to A Sky Full of Stars. The confetti dropped and filled the whole venue. You looked up and happily tried to grab some for souvenir.

From your peripheral vision, you saw Brian try to do the same. You laughed cos he looked like a baby trying to reach for the stars. He might have heard you laugh cos he suddenly caught your eye amidst all the falling pieces of paper.

He held your gaze wordlessly as if wanting to say something and you just stood and waited awkwardly for him to say something but he just smiled after a while and handed you a confetti. You realized all the falling confetti were shaped like a star.

“Cos you’re a sky full of stars.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me lowkey wishing you get all my Coldplay references 😉


	7. Drive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this short chapter just because... 😅  
> this should have been chapter 6.5 but yeaaaah... i fall asleep at the wrong moments.

You were still too hyped after the concert that you immediately said ‘yes’ when he offered to take you home. You were still animatedly talking about the events that transcended that night, as if he wasn’t there with you. And he was just listening, grinning from ear to ear. He was visibly excited too. But, his energy level just couldn’t keep up with yours.

“It was the best night ever!” you sighed to yourself the moment you calmed down, exhaustion suddenly dawning on you as he carefully maneuvered through the after-concert traffic.

“Is it?” he threw you a quick amused glance.

“Thank you,” you say wholeheartedly.

He smiled before reaching out for you and softly ruffled your hair without taking his eyes off the road, his one hand still on the wheel.

“Forgive my driving. I’m still getting used to this.”

“Is this your first time?” you jokingly asked.

“Just got my license.” His left hand went up to scratch his nape, embarrassed.

You laughed at his weakness. “Really? You’re doing fine, Bri. Anyway, which moment did you love the most?” you asked him curiously.

“All of it!” he exclaimed, “I love all their songs and they sound amazing live.”

“Right?! Chris is so dreamy. He’s just my favorite person.”

“How about you? Which one is your fave?”

“Ink. All the way. That’s my favorite song ever. And I didn’t really expect them to sing it that’s why it felt even more special,” you sighed.

“That used to be not my cup of tea. But now I’m pretty sure it’s on top of my list.”

“How could you just not love that song?!”

“I know,” he murmured, pulling the car to a stop as the traffic lights turned red. He leaned back on his seat and finally looked at you, “How could I not, right?”

You suddenly remembered your sort of intimate moment during the song. You felt yourself blush again. You looked away to avoid his gaze and watched as the timer on the stoplight neared zero.

He tinkered with his phone and connected it to his car’s speaker. Soon, ‘Ink’ filled the awkward silence between you. You felt even more embarrassed by the way he softly chuckled as the lights turned green. But as soon as he ran the car again, his focus quickly drifted towards his driving, like the newbie that he is.

“Can you change the song please?” You croaked.

“But it’s our favorite song,” he said, clearly teasing.

You didn’t answer but snatched his phone from the dashboard and played the next song on shuffle. By some sort of weird coincidence or by his expert manipulation, A Sky Full of Stars started playing, reminding you yet again of another moment with him.

_Cause you’re a sky full of stars_

_I’m gonna give you my heart_

“What was that cheesy moment again, Brian?” You cleared your throat and attempted to take the upper hand, ready to get revenge for all his teasings.

His forehead creased, not getting what you meant, but eyes still very much focused on the road. “What?”

You showed him the back of your phone, where you put the confetti he gave you earlier. He quickly glanced at the piece of paper and smiled. But instead of answering, he just sang along softly to the song in the background.

“Cause in a sky full of stars,

I think I saw you...”


	8. Magic

“How was Coldplay?” Erin asked as soon as you entered the door. She was lazily lounging on your couch with a bag of Lays and a French dip on the table, some Korean drama was playing on the TV.

“You shouldn’t even be asking. Of course, they’re amazing!” You gushed as you slumped beside her, taking a chip and stuffing it on your mouth. All that jumping exhausted you, and it’s only dawning on you now. You forgot you didn’t have dinner tonight. Well, Brian did ask, but you still felt full earlier so you declined. Besides, you felt like if you spent some more time with him tonight, he’s gonna overshadow Coldplay as the highlight of your day. Or your life. Who knows?

“Well, you’re visibly glowing,” she teased. “When are you gonna introduce him to me, huh?”

You looked at her, scrunching your nose a bit, “It’s still too early.”

“Time is irrelevant in this matter. If you feel it, you feel it.” She shrugged, leaning over to get the dip across the table.

“In time, Erin.” You just said to dismiss her questioning. You aren’t ready yet… for Erin to know, and for Brian in general. But when does a person ever become ready?

“Yeah, whatever,” she shrugged. You thought she’s dropped the topic already but she suddenly added, “You should bring him to Sungjin’s gig next Saturday. We’re celebrating my birthday then. Tell him your _bestfriend_ invited him over.”

“Erin!”

“You can’t not be there! And I demand you bring a plus one or I’ll really hand you over to Jae this time,” she laughed at your protests.

You threw her a piece of chip in annoyance, “That is below the belt.”

Jae was Sungjin’s bandmate whom you were crushing on for the longest time. You just love the way he is on stage, and he’s actually a pretty cool person. _It was just a happy crush,_ you tell Erin one time. Or so you make yourself believe. Because at some point in between all the times you hung out together, you may have started to like him already. But he clearly had eyes for someone else. And it wasn’t you.

“And I told you I’m long over him,” you added.

“And I believe you the same way you believe me when I say I’m over my best friend,” she rolled her eyes at you. “He’s also coming by the way. I invited him too since he’s back in town.”

“Oh? You’re finally letting me meet him?”

“I’m letting _everyone_ meet him.”

“Does Sungjin know?”

“Of course.”

“That is gonna be one awkward night,” you muttered.

“I think it’s gonna be fun,” Erin said, standing up to get water from the kitchen.

She’s visibly worried about that day, you realize when you saw her making a cup of tea. She only does that when she’s stressed out or anxious about something. Besides, who drinks hot tea with Lays?

“Erin, what’s wrong?”

She sighed as she returned to her seat beside you with her cup of tea. “Honestly? It’s been so long since I saw him last. I don’t know. I don’t understand how I’m feeling.”

You pointedly looked at her, understanding what she meant. “Maybe you should meet him first before Saturday? Talk things out first before you even let him meet everyone. Sungjin, especially.”

“We have nothing to talk about, Y/N. I told you, we never happened.”

“ _Bullshit._ There’s clearly something in there. Or at least you _had_. And sweeping it off under your beds wouldn’t make it disappear.”

She took her cup of tea and sipped on it slowly. “Sometimes, I want to pour this on you.”

You laughed, standing up to go to your room. “I have to go wash up.”

“Or you have to go video chat with him again,” she said sarcastically.

“Shut up.”

“But seriously, you have to talk to Jae, too. He’s been asking me why you don’t come to their gigs anymore.”

You froze on your steps, hearing him asking about you. “This is the real _‘we never happened’._ Why would he ask about me?”

“Y/N. Everyone thought you guys _happened._ Or at least started to. I mean, you were pretty much together most of the time before you suddenly pulled the reign and started avoiding them. Well, Wonpil and Dowoon were asking about you too, but I only mentioned Jae for emphasis,” she teased.

“Ugh, I hate you,” you stomped your feet, marching to your room.

“I’m also still waiting for you to spill the beans on what really happened with you and him! You take so long to get ready!” you heard her shout as you slammed the door shut.

You saw a notification on your phone as soon as you entered your room and lied down on your bed.

_youngkgram tagged you in a post._

It was a picture of your back, looking up at the fireworks from the stage, Coldplay was in front of you. The caption read:

_Still believe in magic?_

_Well, yes, I do._

_Of course, I do._


	9. Doubt

**You free next Saturday?**

You finally decided to text Brian and get on with it cos Erin has been bugging you for days already. And she was starting to get on your nerves with all the Jae blackmailing. You just came home after a full day at work to an Erin giving you one of those looks.

**Is this for the second date?**

He replied almost immediately. _Typical Brian._ You couldn’t help shaking your head as you typed a reply.

**If you want it to be, I guess.**

This time, he took quite some time replying. The dots kept on appearing and disappearing on the chat box.

**AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH. 😭😭😭**

**I’d love to but I have something up on that day. 😭**

You tried to subdue the disappointment rising up your chest. You shouldn’t really have gotten your hopes up that soon.

**Oh. That’s fine, then.**

**I’m really sorry. Let me make it up to you.**

**How about the next Saturday instead?**

You paused. Maybe you should take things slow. You felt like things were going too fast with him. You’ve only met like two weeks ago? And you already felt like you’re freefalling.

**I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know next week.**

**Okay. 🥺**

You put your phone down on your side table as you got ready to wash up, thoughts filled up with all the things that happened in the past. Now that Erin has brought Jae up again, it seems like all those memories—all those feelings you tried so hard to suppress for the longest time, come crashing down on you.

Just then, your phone pinged with another text message from Brian.

**I miss you. 🥺**

*******

“He has other plans on Saturday.”

You said as you passed by Erin on the couch when you went out of your room to get water. You’ve just finished washing up and was ready to go to bed but you felt like talking to Erin. The water was just an excuse.

She looked up from her laptop to glance at you, her eyeglasses lying low on her nose. “Does he…” she muttered, “You’re not a priority then.”

You slumped on the couch next to her and leaned on her shoulder. “You’re too quick to judge. We haven’t really known each other for that long.”

“Still…”

“You think he really likes me?” You asked quietly, letting your insecurities out on her.

Erin sighed as she tried to face you. “Based on your stories? He does sound like a… sorry for the lack of better term, a ‘fuckboy’? I mean, isn’t he’s too flirty to someone he’s just met? Who knows if he’s always been like that to all his plane seatmates?”

You couldn’t help but laugh at her words. ‘Fuckboy’ and Brian just doesn’t fit in the same sentence. For you, at least. You don’t understand as well but in all those times you’ve been with him, he just strikes you as a genuinely cute—or nice person. Or were you just really gullible?

“But yeah, you do you,” Erin said after you didn’t respond, interrupting your thoughts. “AND you’re an amazing person. Stop cutting yourself short, okay?” she wrapped her arms around you to give you your favorite side hug.

“Thanks, Erin,” you murmured against her shirtsleeve.

“You’d still be there on Saturday, though? I promise, I’ll let you be.”

“Of course. Are you ready though?”

“I think? Maybe I’d set you up with Brian instead,” she said, pulling back to look at you, excitement was visible on her face.

You froze, like a bucket of cold water was poured on you, hearing his name roll off her lips so casually. “W-who?”

“Brian. My best friend. There you go. That’s his name.” She laughed at your surprised face.

“Oh.” You slowly nodded, trying to not think too much ahead, giving this moment the benefit of the doubt.

_What are the chances, right?_


	10. Intuition

You paced back and forth for the nth time in front of the bar entrance where Erin and the rest of the gang are. Your insides churn with too much anxiety as you mentally deliberated if you should push through with the night. If at first it was the Jae issue that made you hesitant, now it’s the thought that you and Erin could have been talking about the same Brian all along.

**Where are you?** Erin texted, but you just scrolled past her message, pretending not to see it. As if doing that would make you disappear from this sticky situation.

_Why should I subject myself into this uncomfortable situation?_ You thought to yourself, finally deciding to turn back and head home instead. _Erin will understand_ , you mentally chanted as you pulled out your phone to send an excuse to her.

“Y/N!”

You froze in your steps and ever so slowly looked up from your phone and turned around to the person who called you. You saw Dowoon walking out of the door gleefully, his drumsticks on hand. He half-ran to reach you in no time, grinning from ear to ear, as he gave you a quick bear hug.

“Hey.” You felt yourself relax as he pulled away.

“Long time no see! We missed you around here!”

“Yeah... I just got busy with... uh... things,” you mumbled awkwardly.

“Where are you going? Why are you not coming in?”

“I—“ your words were interrupted when the door swayed open again, revealing a pouting Jae with a guitar case hanging loosely on his back, his forehead visibly worried about something. He looked up and his eyes suddenly widened when it met yours. This time, you literally felt your heart got stuck on your throat. You looked away and diverted your attention back to Dowoon, but very much aware of Jae coming near you. “I was just going in...”

Jae reached you and Dowoon in no time. He tapped Dowoon’s shoulder before immediately pulling you into a tight hug. There was nothing else you can do but fall into his embrace, awkwardly tapping his back as he nestled his face in the space between your neck and your shoulder. Like the way he always used to. It was scarily familiar... you couldn’t help but want some more.

“Where have you been hiding?” He murmured softly against your skin, a slow tingling sensation starting from that point of contact to the rest of your being.

You cleared your throat as you pulled away in hopes of suppressing your old feelings for him from resurfacing. You’re long over this.

“Around. I just got busy is all.” You said, avoiding his eyes and focusing on Dowoon instead.

“We’ve missed you a lot,” Dowoon whined.

You playfully punched his chest, “You’re overreacting.”

Dowoon laughed as he caught your hand and playfully gave it to Jae. “We really did miss you. Right, Jae hyung?”

Your eyes drifted to Jae who may or may not have been looking at you the whole time. He just gingerly caught your hand and held it softly and nodded, “A lot.”

He’s always been this touchy. But no, there’s never been any meaning behind it. That you know now.

“Alright, I have to bring this over to the van first,” Dowoon said before leaving you and Jae alone.

“Dowoon—“

“Y/N—“

You both uttered at the same time. You were trying to stop Dowoon, but Jae looked like he’s been waiting for him to leave. You felt him grip your hand a bit tighter and looked at you so tenderly it scared you.

You pulled your hand as if something suddenly burned you. He was taken aback by your sudden retraction that you forced a smile to assure him you’re okay. “Erin’s looking for me. I’ll go inside.”

“Please. Let’s talk first,” his eyes were practically begging you to stay.

“I have to go.” You say as you stepped past him and moved towards the door.

A few more steps to the door and you turned back to see him just standing there where you left him. “Your set is starting soon. Go prep, Jae!”

You cheerfully added but you know he doesn’t buy it. But after a while, he heaved a deep breath and gave you a smile instead. “I’ll look for you in the crowd.”

***

You wondered if leaving Jae outside and going in the bar is the right decision afterall. You have this ominous feeling of things going terribly wrong today. And people should always trust their intuitions, right?

You made your way to your usual table, meekly nodding at people you recognize. You used to be a regular here, too. Way back.

“Y/N!” you heard Wonpil shout your name from the bar. “Oh my god!” He approached you with arms stretched wide open and gave you a hug.

“Hey. Long time no see!”

“Don’t even get me started…” his mood suddenly shifted as he gave you a pointed look. “How could you just disappear on us for months?!”

“I’ll buy you a drink!” you laughed. It’s really funny when he tries to act mad.

“I already have one. And our set is starting soon, so…” He held his drink up and ordered another one from the bartender and gave it to you.

“Thanks,” you say as you took it and sipped immediately.

“Come on. We’ve been waiting.” He put his arm around you and dragged you to their table where Sungjin was.

“Where’s Erin?”

“She went out for a bit to fetch her best friend who couldn’t seem to find his way here. What a noob.”

You chuckled nervously, trying to not think about that one possibility you tried to bury under the million others you thought about since last week.

“Hey, Sungjin.”

“Hey, what’s up?” he stood up and gave you a quick hug, before moving out to give you his spot on the couch beside Erin’s purse.

“What time is your set again?”

“Fifteen minutes from now. Erin should be back by now, too.” Sungjin muttered, his eyes drifting to the door.

“Chill. They’re probably on their way back now,” Wonpil laughed.

Just then, Jae and Dowoon went up the stage to set their equipment up. The two went up as well to help, leaving you alone on the table.

Jae moved to the front to fix his mic, his spot directly in front of your seat. He cleared his throat several times and muttered, “Mic test. Mic test.”

You tried to busy yourself on your phone to avoid looking at him, but his presence is just all over.

“Y/N,” he suddenly whispered on the mic. Your eyes immediately shot up to him upon hearing your name on the speakers. He caught your eye and smirked playfully, as if satisfied he got your attention. You rolled your eyes at him and smiled.

Sungjin suddenly approached Jae and dragged him off the mic to the backstage. Dowoon and Wonpil were laughing as they followed them to the back, off your view. You laughed as you leaned back on your seat, trying to relax and enjoy the night. For what it’s worth.

“You’re finally here!” You heard Erin approaching you so you turned to look at her, your heart pounding with that same ominous feeling again.

“Y/N?!”

You felt your heart jump out your chest as you met those cheerful eyes again. What was that thing about intuitions again? _Yeah, they’re always right. Yeah, you should follow them._ You thought to yourself as you awkwardly smiled at a gleefully looking Brian beside a confused Erin.


	11. Cool

“You knew each other?” Erin moved towards you, giving you a quick hug. You absentmindedly hugged her back as you avoided Brian’s eyes who seemed to be totally fascinated by the situation.

“Small world,” he answered Erin without taking his eyes away from you. “Can I get a hug too?” he cockily smiled before opening his arms wide.

You nervously shifted your eyes between him, Erin, and the stage, where the Jae and the others has started taking position. All of their eyes were on you and it was literally making you blank out. Until you felt Brian pull you softly for a hug.

“Hi,” you heard him whisper against your ear, sending you little shivers.

You pulled away quickly as if something burned you, and met Erin’s eyes. You couldn’t read her mind but you’re pretty sure she’s already concluded everything in her head.

She cleared her throat and led you three to sit on the couch. You awkwardly sat on the edge of the couch thinking Erin would sit beside you, but Brian, who seemed to be oblivious with all the tension that is happening, took that spot. Erin sat on the other couch across you. The band has already started their set, Jae’s soothing voice has started to fill the room.

“Is there anything wrong?” Brian asked after a while when he noticed that nobody was talking. You all just sat there quietly, staring blankly at the stage, but not really watching.

“Nah. I just love this song,” Erin replied almost too enthusiastically. She looked at you as if urging you to break your silence.

You avoided her eyes and gulped almost half of your drink. “Yeah. Me too.”

“So, was this where you were supposed to take me?” Brian asked. You looked at him blankly, not quite understanding what he meant. “For our second date.” He added.

Realization dawned on you. _Right. Go on dig my grave my deeper, Brian._ “Uh, kinda.” You replied shortly. There’s no more way out anyway.

“So were you the one who watched Coldplay with her?” Erin asked Brian.

“Yeah. What did she say? Did I make good points?” he chuckled, relaxing his back on the couch.

“Shut up, Bri.” You helplessly looked at him. You just don’t know how to deal with this situation.

“Well, she does seem pretty happy these days. I’m just not sure if that’s on you. Don’t get ahead of yourself, Brian.” Erin seemed pretty chill about the situation now, but you know her better than that.

He laughed before looking at you, “Is it me?”

“You’re so full of yourself.” You rolled your eyes at him. You couldn’t help but smile at him amidst everything. But you shifted your gaze back to the stage, unexpectedly meeting Jae’s eyes again. You froze and tried to look away but you could still feel his eyes as he sang his part:

_I like you_

_I tried to hold it down_

_But I can’t do this anymore_

_Here we go again._ “I’ll go to the restroom first.” You stood abruptly and marched away from them.

***

You spent a good ten minutes just sitting inside the cubicle, collecting your thoughts together and calming yourself down. When you came out, you find Erin standing in front of the lavatory. Upon hearing your cubicle door open, she looked up and caught your eye on the mirror.

“Hey.”

You sighed as you moved beside her to wash your hands. “I didn’t know—”

“Obviously. Neither of us knew, Y/N. Some wicked twist of fate, eh?” she said. You knew that tone very well.

“You’re trying too hard,” you said.

“And you’re not trying it all,” she reprimanded.

You paused and stared at her as you heaved another deep sigh. “I don’t know, Erin.”

“Stop worrying, Y/N. We’re cool.”

You pulled a paper towel and dried your hands, pointedly looking at her. “Stop lying.”

“I’m not!” she said defensively but decided to give it up. “Or at least I’m trying to be cool about it. Now do your part. Cos they don’t have to be dragged with our issues.”

“Are they done with their set?”

“Yeah. They’re getting all chummy together there without us. Come on.” She took your arm and dragged you out of the restroom. “You have to get out before Jae and Brian start talking about the wrong things.”

You saw how your table’s now full with testosterone. Dowoon and Wonpil seemed to be pretty whipped with Brian’s animated talks, while Jae and Sungjin looked sulky at the opposite sides. Guess you don’t have to worry about them talking about the wrong things then.

“What took you so long?” Dowoon asked, to which Erin just shrugged. Their heads curiously turned to the both of you to re-acknowledge your presence.

She easily slipped on the seat beside Sungjin while you internally struggled deciding where to position yourself. Brian seemed to be expecting you to sit beside him again because he tapped Dowoon’s knee as if asking him to scoot over. But of course, the ever so innocent baby would be oblivious to that as he continued to talk to them about something you don’t really understand.

Brian frustratingly smiled to you, his eyes were apologetic. You just nodded and mouthed an _‘it’s okay,’_ before you felt a slight tug on your hand.

“Here.” You heard Jae mumble, tapping the space beside him. You mentally debated if you should sit beside him just like the old times, but he pulled you down so you settled beside him stiffly. “Do you want another drink?” he whispered as soon as you sat beside him, tucking a few stray strands behind your ear.

“I’m fine, Jae.” You answered, eyes looking up. Brian was looking at you as if realizing something. He clearly isn’t listening to Dowoon anymore. His eyes seemed to be fixated at Jae’s arm that went around you.


	12. Choose

“It’s been how many years again?” Wonpil asked, breaking the awkward silence that somehow ensued when Brian stopped talking.

“We’ve known each other ever since we were five.” Erin answered, fidgeting with Sungjin’s fingers, partially leaning on his chest. Sungjin seemed annoyed though. He seemed to be fascinated with his mug of beer more than anything else.

“I know every dirty little secret she hides. And I’ve seen her in her most disgusting state,” Brian laughed. “Let me know if you need anything to use against her.”

“Name your price!” Wonpil exclaimed, laughing.

“Hey!” Erin reached for Wonpil and slapped his arm jokingly.

“It’s about time Erin gets exposed. You always have something on us,” Dowoon chimed in.

“Yeah, it’s time to turn the table around.” Jae said, his hand subtly brushing over your shoulder as he made those hand gestures he always does when talking.

“Oh, you’re ganging up on me now?” Erin raised an eyebrow at them, before turning to Sungjin asking for some sort of help.

But he just laughed as he consoled her by gently rubbing her arms, “See how you’ve always been mean to them?”

“You’re still a bully, huh?” Brian asked.

“I’ve never been!” Erin answered, her pitch getting higher like it does whenever she feels defeated. “Tell them, Y/N. I’m the nicest person here,” she turned to you with a warning.

Brian caught your eye as you laughed at Erin. “Don’t be scared of her, Y/N. I got you,” he said. You sort of froze hearing his words. You knew you were taking it not as he meant it, but it actually made you feel kind of better.

“I kinda need those, too,” you scrunched your nose at Erin, much to everyone’s chagrin.

“See?! Even Y/N!” Wonpil laughed, picking his drink up and inviting a toast. “To Brian!”

Everyone except Erin raised their glasses cheerily.

“Really.” She said as she drank on her own. “Don’t you dare, Brian.”

Brian just laughed at her, “You know I love you, E. But I can’t just watch these people be oppressed by a bully.”

“You’re really choosing them over me… you’re best best friend ever?” She blackmailed.

“Nah, you know I’d always choose you,” he winked at her.

Your eyes awkwardly shifted between the two and you saw how Erin’s cheeks softly blushed and how Sungjin clenched his jaw a little. Everyone else seemed oblivious to it though as they continued on joking around with each other. But you definitely felt tense.

You felt Jae’s hand rub your shoulder gently as if consoling you. “Do you want to get out of here for a while?” he murmured.

“Where?” You turned to him curiously.

“Our usual? Come on. You owe me a catch-up anyway.” He held his hand in front of you, urging you to take it. “Please?” 

You regarded him in silence, wondering if you’re ready for this talk.

“Pretty please?” He always knew when to use those playful puppy dog eyes of his.

“Please? I miss you,” he repeated, gone was the playfulness in his eyes. Instead, he stared at you tenderly. “ohmygodamibeggingtoomuch?” he suddenly mumbled, talking to himself. He can be like this at times and you were reminded of how you loved it. You smiled to yourself as you shook your head.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his face as you friskily slapped his hand instead of taking it, then standing up abruptly, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Where are you going?” Brian asked, heads curiously turning to you.

“Uh…” you hesitated. You totally did not think this through.

To make things worse, Jae suddenly stood up and took your hand. “She’s accompanying me to the pharmacy. My allergies are acting up.”

“They always do that. Just suddenly disappearing,” Dowoon said nonchalantly.

“Yeah. We’re used to that already.” Wonpil added.

“Don’t be out too long, Jae. Our next set is in thirty.” Sungjin warned Jae. Erin just looked at you with a hint of a smile, as if encouraging you. You know she’s dying to tease you about it, but she just settled with a nod.

You caught Brian staring at Jae’s hand on yours. Your breath hitched when his hooded eyes then looked up and caught yours. He gazed at you with a question—a question you chose not to answer… nor think about at all. It may be because you weren’t ready, or maybe because you didn’t know the answer to it as much as you want to.

You ended up avoiding his eyes and tugging Jae out of the bar instead. Choosing him. _Tonight, at least._


	13. Moon

You tried to let go of Jae’s hand as soon as you stepped outside but he wouldn’t let you. He just smiled at you as he dragged you towards the nearby park where you usually hang out before whenever you needed to breathe. It used to be your safe place, but now it just reminds you of how you got your heart broken for the first time.

He sat you down on the bench on the farthest corner of the park, before seating beside you. There was a kid’s soccer game on the field nearby so it wasn’t as quiet and peaceful as it should be but you were actually quite thankful for that.

“It’s beautiful tonight,” he said. You didn’t have to look at him and ask him to know what he’s talking about. He’s always been fascinated by the moon. And it’s a full moon tonight. Again. Just like the last time.

“I just like the moon. The moon knows all my secrets,” he said that night. You finally asked him why he always stares at the moon whenever he gets the chance to.

“Wow. I never thought you have that side in you,” you teased.

“Don’t we all have that side of us we don’t show to anyone?”

“Isn’t it just a phase, though…” you wondered off, staring at the moon.

“It’s about to get real deep, huh?” he softly chuckled, “But yeah. I just love talking to the moon. Sometimes it’s all I have…”

You turned to him not knowing what to say. So you just ended up calling his name. “Jae.”

He smiled at you but didn’t answer, and you let him. For a few seconds, you just kept on staring at him as he stared at the moon, finally admitting to yourself that it’s no longer just a ‘happy crush’ for you. You’ve been spending too much time together these days making you wonder if ever you could be a possibility. You’ve fallen.

“I saw her first,” he said after a while.

_Erin._ You smiled bitterly to yourself. You knew this.You’ve always noticed how his eyes spark whenever he looks at her, or how he has that little smile whenever she does something cute, or how he seemed to always have time for her whenever she asks for something. You knew this but still you dove head on. You didn’t reply as you waited for him to continue.

“She was wearing that same hoodie,” he said pointing at the yellow hoodie you were wearing. “It has slowly started to rain and I just saw her run after my dog, Jaedong. His leash just suddenly came off and he started running towards the busy streets. Silly girl risking her life. But she disappeared as soon as she saved my dog. Later that day, I found out she was the girl Wonpil was supposed to set me up on a blind date on. Which I bribed Sungjin to go to instead of me.”

You froze, speechless as you remembered that day months ago. You and Erin loved to share your wardrobe. You remembered running after a cute dog across the streets. And its owner shouting a ‘Thank you’ at you as you dashed for your bus. Was it him? Erin borrowed your jacket that day because it has started to rain and she’s running late for that blind date Wonpil set you up on. Which you asked her to go to in your stead. _Wicked twist of fate._

“You know how first impressions always last?” he chuckled, “That and then I got to know her more. Through Sungjin. She’s been stuck in my head ever since that day that everything she does after just gets me whipped.”

“Ah.” You tried to say something but ended up just nodding. You felt a lump on your throat as you tried to blink away your tears that threatened to fall. You don’t even know why you wanted to cry.

“But don’t worry. I’m trying to move on now. I respect what they have. I’ll never ruin that.” He tore his gaze away from the skies and looked at you in the eye. “You’re like my moon now.”

You avoided his gaze and focused on your hands instead. It was supposed to be a compliment, you know that. But it felt like he was chipping away slowly on your heart. _A moon that knows all his secrets. A moon that’s all he has?_ You felt like bursting with all your pent up emotions now. You have to let it out, too. So you did. _It’s now or never._

You closed your eyes tightly as words came out of your mouth before you could even rationalize again. “I think I’m falling for you.”

And then there was silence but the sound of the crickets was deafening. You opened your eyes and stared at the moon again, refusing to look at him. You just might cry.

“Y/N..” he called helplessly. He heaved a deep sigh, seemingly lost for words.

“I don’t want to sound desperate, but it was me,” you bravely met his eyes, “I saved your dog, I guess. Erin borrowed this hoodie for that date Wonpil set me up on.” You gave him a twisted smile.

“What?” He was visibly confused.

You looked away again, unable to hold his stare. “But it doesn’t really matter now, I know. Cos you love her because of her. Not because of this jacket. Not because she saved your dog.” You chuckled humorlessly. “Guess we’re just on the same shoes.”

“I.. I’m sorry.” Jae whispered, still staring at you dumbfoundedly.

“Not your fault. Don’t worry about it.” You tried to smile at him genuinely to assure him you were fine. “It’s like the universe was conspiring against us that day, huh? Funny…”

“So it was you afterall?” he softly said, more like he was telling himself.

“Let’s just not bring this up again. I only told the moon.”

Jae tried to smile as well, but his face was worried. “Will we be okay?”

You scoffed before nodding. “This is only one of those nights. But I might need some time away from you,” you said honestly.

“I don’t want to lose you like this.”

“I just have to shake this feelings off. Just like you.” You felt hollow. You never thought your day’s gonna end with you sort-of-breaking-up with Jae.

“Eventually, the moon will be full again.” He said.

You nodded wordlessly, trying to gauge how much you’ve fallen for him already. You never really thought about it until now.

_To the moon and never back._


	14. Almost

“So… How have you been?” Jae asked, breaking the silence. He turned to you after staring at the moon for so long.

You smiled at him and nodded. “Fine.”

“Did it help?”

“What?”

“Your time away.”

“I guess.” You tore your gaze away from him and stared blankly at the night sky. The nearby crowd suddenly cheered for a goal, breaking the monotonous buzz between you. “I wouldn’t be here now if it didn’t.”

Jae slowly nodded, fixing his eyeglasses out of habit.

“How about you?” you asked him back.

“I missed you.”

Your suddenly turned to him, flustered, catching his eyes. You didn’t know what to say to that. You did miss him, too, but you’re okay now. Or so you believed.

“You know what I failed to tell you the last time we’re here?” he paused, now avoiding your eyes. “Why you were my moon… the reason I got better at moving on from Erin was because of you. But I’m afraid you’d take it the wrong way. And I didn’t want you to think that I’m taking advantage of your feelings.”

You kept quiet, unable to process his words. All you knew was that hollow feeling inside you was back. _Was it almost a happy ending?_

“I didn’t know how to feel when you confessed to me. I was really glad, but I was so confused as to how I can hold on to you.” His voice must have quivered a bit. Or you could just be imagining it? He cleared his throat and chuckled humorlessly. “You ended up slipping away, anyway.”

“Jae…”

“I thought a lot about things while you were gone. Like how I can make amends… do things right… but my mind just blanks out seeing you again. All I can think about is how I missed you.” he laughed again, changing the atmosphere.

You sighed and decided to take light of the situation. “You’re a blabbering mess, Jae.”

“Well, Sungjin did say I only have thirty minutes,” he chuckled softly.

You didn’t answer and just tried to smile at him assuringly. You didn’t really know what to say. You couldn’t explain how you felt.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m in. But I’m scared you’ll slip away again, Y/N,” his voice suddenly turned lower, regarding you with a serious look that never fails to send your insides into haywire. “And I’m even more scared that I’m too late now.”

The cool night breeze softly blows on your face, calming you down—totally the opposite of how you were currently feeling on the inside. Your thoughts suddenly drifted to your past months of trying to be okay, then actually, finally, being okay.

“Y/N.”

You both turned towards the voice that called your name, to find Brian standing a good few meters away from where you were seated. He gleefully pointed at his wristwatch to remind you of the time.

“The guys asked me to come fetch you. They’re already starting to prep, Jae.”

Jae just grunted a quick “Right,” before standing up and pulling you up with him. You walked towards Brian who met you halfway through.

“Actually, can I talk to you first?” he blocked your way, ignoring Jae.

You met Brian’s eyes before looking at Jae and nodding at him. He seemed hesitant to leave you there but he had priorities.

In the end, he gave in and mumbled, “Don’t keep her for too long,” before going back.

“Does he have a say on that?” Brian’s forehead creased as he pointed at the direction Jae went. His voice was joking but you sensed some uncertainty on his tone.

You just shrugged your shoulders as you started to walk slowly, him falling into steps beside you. “So, you and Erin…” you started awkwardly.

“Small world, huh? I didn’t see her on any of your posts on IG. Are you really best friends?”

“Excuse me sir, but I didn’t see her in any of yours, too. Are you really best friends?” You suddenly felt defensive.

He grinned at your rebuttal. “There she is.”

You turned to him curiously.

“The you that I know.” He said matter-of-factly. “You’ve been pretty stiff the whole night. I actually thought you’re even avoiding me. Didn’t you like how our situation turned out?”

_You have no idea._ “I was just surprised, I guess. Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Like it…”

“I like you.” He laughed upon seeing you blush again, his pace slowing down. “You being friends with Erin actually makes everything easier for me. Dowoon and Wonpil are pretty cool, too. Although Sungjin seemed jealous of me. And Jae…” his tone was suggestive, as if itching to ask something and he’s waiting for you to acknowledge it.

“Ask away.” You rolled your eyes at him. He really has his way of pulling things out of you comfortably.

He laughed nervously and cleared his throat after. “Am I overstepping anything between you two?”

You sighed and thought about it carefully. _Was he, really?_ There was technically nothing to start with anyway. Him on the other hand… You have to talk to Erin first.

“Ex?” he pushed when you didn’t answer.

You shook your head in denial. He seemed taken aback by your answer so you quickly corrected his thoughts. “Almost…”


	15. Call

**When can I claim the second date?** Brian texted you again after days of you sort-of-ignoring him and him acting like you’re not. It’s either he’s deliberately acting like you were not ignoring him or he’s just really a naïve ball of positivity.

It’s been days since _that_ night and you haven’t talked about it with Erin. Or Jae. To your defense, you’ve been busy with work the whole week and Erin was fervently acting like everything was fine.

**Okay. Now I’m kind of convinced you’re ignoring me.** Another message came in and you couldn’t help feeling guilty. Like what Erin said, he doesn’t have to be dragged into your issues. Yet.

You put your phone down and buried your face on your pillows as you mentally deliberated if you should text him back or not. But before you could decide, your phone started ringing with a video call. Your thumb instinctively swiped to pickup his call before you could even think about it.

“HEY!” You heard Jae exclaim as soon as you answered.

“Jae?!” Your forehead scrunched seeing him unexpectedly on your phone’s screen again. It’s been a long time since you last did this.

“Oh. Wow. I didn’t actually think you’d answer…” he added in a small voice before his eyes looked you. “Uh. Hi. Again.” He was sitting on his gaming chair, leaning back leisurely as he rolled it side to side. He scratched his nape as if forgetting why he called.

“Hi…” You sounded so unsure even to yourself.

“Dude, why are we so awkward?!” he laughed to himself to ease the tension. “We used to do this all time!” He frustratedly ruffled his own hair. His laugh calmed you down. You started to relax as he continued to ramble on. “First! We’re not yet done talking, okay? I just got busy this past week and Erin said that you are, too. So I didn’t bother you first even though I’m dying to…”

“You’re too dramatic!” you rolled your eyes at him and laid back down on your bed, holding your phone up.

“Anyway, the reason that I called tonight,” he suddenly stood up and went off the screen though you could still hear his voice, “Aside from the fact that I didn’t want to hold it off any longer…” his voice got softer as he probably moved farther away from his phone. You heard him open his door and call for someone.

You just stared at your screen as you waited for him to come back. After a few seconds, he came back with a cute little white dog on his arms. He sat on his chair again and held his dog up.

“Awwwww. Is that Jaedongie?” your heart swelled at the sight.

“It’s his birthday!” Jae happily waved his dog’s paws at you. “Say hello to your savior, Jaedongie.” He softly mumbled on the dog’s fluffy ear. He seemed to understand it as he cutely barked at you.

“You’re such a cute little baby boy.” You couldn’t help but baby talk the dog though you’re pretty sure he doesn’t understand you. But he barked at you again, much to you and Jae’s delight. You both laughed as you shifted your gaze to Jae who’s looking at you tenderly. You felt your laughter catch at your throat upon catching his eye.

“We should have done this sooner,” he said.

You just nodded at him and smiled. “Yeah.”

You both went quiet as you watched him softly run his fingers through Jaedongie’s fur.

“You kinda look alike.” You remarked, laughing at how they have the same look in their eyes.

“Are you saying I look like a dog?” he sounded offended, “Last time you told me I looked like a chicken.”

You shrugged your shoulders at him and talked to the dog instead. “But you do look like your father, don’t you?”

“We should all hang out this weekend.”

“And by we, you mean…?”

“You, me, and Jaedong. He hasn’t been to the park for the longest time. Right, Jaedongie?” He leaned his face closer to the dog’s face and he just looked at him and licked his chin. Jae laughed and buried his nose on his fur.

You couldn’t help smiling at this cute scene, then you paused, suddenly remembering something. “But wait. Aren’t you allergic?”

“I have my meds,” he smiled reassuringly, “Besides, how could you just not, right?”  
  


“Whatever, Jae.. But anyway, I’m not planning on leaving my bed this weekend.”

“But why?” his lips pouted like that of a child deprived of a toy.

“It’s _the weekend,_ Jae. Should stay at home if you don’t want to feel annoyed by all those flowers and chocolates in the air. And you’re also allergic to flowers!”

“But I’m not allergic to love.” He raised his eyebrow at you, teasing. He lifted Jaedong up and closer to the screen and talked in a small voice, “Besides, how could you say no to me, huh?” His face peeked at the back, as if begging you too.

_Those cute, irresistible faces._

“I’ll give you flowers and chocolates, too, so you won’t feel left out,” he added.

  
You looked at him doubtfully, “Why do I feel like I’m being tricked? Did you plan this all along?”

He chortled at your reaction and shook his head, “It’s his birthday.”

You glared at him before looking at the dog, “Fine. Happy birthday, Jaedongie!”

“Perfect!”

Before you could even answer him, you heard a knock on your door and Erin calling out your name. The door opened before you could even stand up.

Erin peeked her head in, her eyes catching yours in an instant. “Brian’s here.”


	16. Vday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be for valentine's day but life... 🥺  
> please bear with me for being two days late. 😅

Your phone plopped on your face as soon as Erin closed the door.

“Ouch.” You massaged the bridge of your nose where your phone hit.

“Ow. That hurt.” You heard Jae say as you picked your phone up and held it up on your face again. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled, holding Jaedong’s paws up to bid you goodbye.

“I’ll see you both. Bye Jaedongie~” You said before ending the call and finally standing up from your bed anxiously.

You checked your face on the mirror and decided that you looked decent enough. Good thing you deferred washing your face and prepping for bed. You hesitantly opened your door and stepped out, faintly hearing Erin and Brian’s laughter from where you were.

“Y/N. I have to leave. Come out!” Erin called again. You sighed and tried to calm yourself down as you walked towards them.

“What are you doing here?” you asked upon seeing him on your side of the couch. They both looked up but their faces were too different. Erin looked at you with an extremely faked perkiness, while Brian’s face just broke into a hesitant smile.

“I had no choice. You were ignoring me,” he defended.

“I—”

“I told you, she wasn’t.” Erin beat you to answering as she stood and picked up her purse. “Anyway, I’ll leave you two. Sungjin’s already downstairs.” She walked towards the door but before she went out, she turned back to Brian and said, “You owe me this one, B.”

Brian laughed and nodded, “Love you, E!”

You marched towards the couch, suddenly feeling annoyed. You sat on the couch opposite him, your arms crossed on your chest. “You could have just waited for me to reply.”

“That’s what I did for a week!” he tried not to laugh as you glared at him. “Okay, I just wanted to spend Vday with you. But I ran out of time cos you were ignoring me and I just couldn’t let this day pass without seeing you so I sold my soul to the devil to let me in tonight.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how he referred to Erin. His unpredictability really makes you go through a roller coaster of emotions in a span of a few minutes. “You’re making a big deal out of today. It’s not for single people.”

“Are you single? I’m not single.” His eyes looked at you suggestively, giving you little butterflies. Again. Despite the complications.

“I am.” You said matter-of-factly, cos it’s true.

He scoffed at your reply, “Oh, you are?”

“And you aren’t, huh?”

“I wouldn’t be here tonight if I am.”

You looked at him, suddenly confused as hell. “You have some twisted logic going on in that pretty head of yours.”

He laughed and scooted over the edge of the couch to get closer to you. “For all the times I’ve told you I like you, I was pretty sure I clearly had my message come across.”

His eyes caught yours but you just shook your head, feeling lost as you gazed back at him.

“What I mean is, I consider myself committed to you…” he spoke with sincerity but you burst out with laughter instead. You couldn’t stop laughing as he stared at you, confused and annoyed.

“Wow, Y/N. I bared my heart out and you just laughed at me,” he held a hand on his chest as if clenching his heart, acting really offended but you could definitely see him trying to stop himself from laughing too.

“That was really cringey.”

“Okay, let me try again.” He straightened his back and composed himself, closing his eyes as if gathering some sort of courage. But he kept silent for so long that it has become uncomfortable.

“What are you really trying to do, Brian Kang?” you asked patiently, seeing how weird he’s acting.

He opened his eyes and sighed, “I guess there’s no other way to do this than to ask… if… you could be my girlfriend? Date me for real… for good?”

You softly gasped hearing his words, but words didn’t come find you.

“I mean, I know we haven’t really known each other for so long, but I’m pretty sure I like you. Too much. And we have lots of time to do that and figure it out together in the future, don’t we? I’m not asking you to marry me. Yet, at least. I just want to do a lot of things with you without apprehensions.” He chuckled as his hand came up to nervously scratch his nape. “I just want to _be_ with you.”

You held your breath as you stared back at his pleading eyes. You didn’t know what to say. You fully understood the gravity of what he’s asking you, but at that very moment you just chose to bask at that giddy feeling that’s somehow enveloping you. There’s no Erin. No Jae. Just you and him. Just like that moment at the concert.

When you still didn’t answer, he continued rambling on, but this time, he sounded unsure and less confident. “I mean, I feel like you liked me, too. Didn’t you? You wouldn’t have me this close if you didn’t, right? Well, yeah, you haven’t said it out loud to me yet, and that’s fine. I can wait. But I felt something. Was I wrong? Don’t you like me? Even just a little? Was—”

You couldn’t help but laugh again as you put your hand on his face to shush him out. “Shut up, Bri.”

He held your hand and put it down on his lap, “It’s a no, then? You’re really breaking my heart on Valentine’s day?”

You pulled your hand out from his and stood up. He looked up at you like a kid and you couldn’t help holding his face up as he stared at you, squishing both his cheeks. “Okay.”

His questioning eyes regarded you. “Okay what?” his lips cutely moved between your hands. _Too cute._

You dropped a peck on his lips before letting him go and walking towards the kitchen to get a drink. “Figure it out yourself.”


	17. First Day

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

You mentally chanted as you hurriedly walked past the kitchen to go to the bathroom, realizing what you just did back there. You repeatedly washed your face with cold water to wake you up from what seemed to be a hazy dream. You could still feel his squishy cheeks on your hands, his lips—

“Y/N.” You get startled by a sudden soft knock on the bathroom door. His tone was too chirpy for his own good.

_Shit._

“Come out. You’ve been there longer than necessary.”

“How’d you know how long is necessary?! You don’t know what I’m doing in here. Go home.” You spatted through the door. You heard him chuckle from the outside.

“You can’t run away from me now. Not after that.”

You closed your eyes in embarrassment. You could definitely see your cheeks burning red from your reflection. Good thing he couldn’t see you now.

He knocked on your door again. “Hey. I won’t tease you. I promise.”

You rolled your eyes. There’s no way he wouldn’t use that against you now. You splashed your face with water again, hoping it could cool your face down.

Your hands blindly searched for the face towel on the hanger beside the mirror, only to realize that you’ve just put it in the laundry. Erin was supposed to replace it. Annoyed, you took a few rolls of tissue paper to at least dry your face off a little before facing him again, a few strands of your hair still dripping.

You opened the door and found him just about to knock again. His face was brimming with laughter as he immediately pulled you in for a hug, your face dampening a portion of his white shirt.

You tried to pull back to avoid getting him wet. “Wait! I have to go get a—” the rest of your words gets muffled on his chest as he pulled you back, unbothered.

You felt his hands softly caress your wet hair, making you feel something. _Too much._ You put your hands on his chest to push him away, more forcefully now. This kind of intimacy was making you feel things you don’t know how to deal with yet.

“There. You’re all dry now.” He smiled as he let you put that much needed space between you two. You turned your back on him, feeling your cheeks burn again.

You went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to get a bottle of water. You felt him follow you but you found him casually leaning on the countertop, waiting for you to finish. You glared at him, badly wanting to wipe that smirk off his face.

“So..” he started.

Your eyes immediately avoided his, stepping past him to go to the couch. Again, he followed you but this time, he actually sat beside your slumped figure at the edge of the couch. You propped your legs up and crossed it in front of you.

“You can’t just avoid me after taking advantage of me.”

“Excuse me?! I did not.” You pouted at him, crossing your arms across your chest for defense.

He tried to catch your shifty eyes. “I’m a willing victim anyway. Can you do that again?”

“I hate you.”

“Yeah, we’ve kind of settled that now.” He suddenly moved to lie down on the couch and rest his head on your lap. Startled, you shifted your hips away from him, causing his head to land on the couch instead.

“Can I not lie down on my girlfriend’s lap?” he whined.

“Not on the first day.”

He laughed and lifted himself up to go back to a sitting position, copying yours. “Okay, let’s do it on the second day. I’ll pick you up tomorrow.”

“Uh. I actually have plans tomorrow,” you said, remembering your talk with Jae and Jaedong just a while ago. Now you were kind of regretting saying yes to him.

“Where are you going?” You felt him nudge your shoulder a little.

“I’m going out with Jaedong…” you answered, trying to be safe. Or not.

“Who’s Jaedong?”

You could feel his eyes staring at you intently, so you tried your best to avoid it and sound casual. “Jae’s dog…” you said in a small voice.

“Huh.” You felt him look away from you as he let out an exasperated breath.

“He asked me out first,” you turned to him, sounding too defensive even to your ears.

“When?”

“J-Just before you arrived…?” you looked away guiltily. _Okay. You’re digging your own grave here._

“Oh, when you were ignoring me?”

You swallowed an imaginary lump on your throat, not knowing how to get out of this now. How did your situation escalate quickly to this again? Brian sighed when you didn’t answer, and held your chin, forcing you to look at him now.

“Make it up to me the day after, okay?” he said softly now.

You nodded, your chin still resting on his fingers. His eyes were intently staring at your lips.

“But for now… what do couples do on their first day anyway?” he whispered.

You shrugged your shoulders as you tried to move your face away from his touch, but he instead held it a bit tighter. “How should I know, Brian?”

“Oh, you should know…” he murmured as his face moved closer to yours, his breath softly panning on your face. You instinctively closed your eyes, sighing as you felt his lips descend on yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did this after reading @/jagga’s update on twt 🙈


	18. Should

“Here, Jaedong!” You excitedly called for him as soon as you spotted them entering the park. Jaedong excitedly wagged his tail as he tried to run towards you, only to be pulled back by his leash which Jae was holding.

“Calm down, boy!” you heard Jae say as he started to half-run to keep up with the dog.

You sat on your heel as they reached you and tenderly petted his fur. Jaedong licked your hand as he jumped around to reach your face.

“Seems like he recognizes you,” Jae said.

You quickly glanced at him to scoff at him before giving your attention back to the dog. “You recognize me, huh? You’re a good boy. Unlike someone I know.”

Jae suddenly sat on the grass beside you and petted Jaedong before removing his leash. “Not fair,” he pouted at you with a guilty look in his eyes. As soon as the dog was free of everything restraining him, he ran around the dog park, excitedly sniffing on the bushes.

“That dog has no loyalty,” you laughed as you sat beside Jae. “Is he gonna be okay like that?”

“Yeah. I trained him well.” Jae said proudly, leaning back on his arms, his face basking in the afternoon sun.

You fell silent, realizing how you’re suddenly alone with him again.

“So…” he turned to you, squinting his eyes a bit because of the sunlight. “Can we continue where we left off?”

“What do you mean?” You say, confused as to what he meant. There were to many loose ends between you. Which one did he want to continue?

“Am I too late now?” he asked softly as he stared at you.

Your breath hitched as you looked away, focusing on watching Jaedong now. You sighed before replying, “I’m okay now, Jae. I can finally go back to being your best bud.”

You felt him look away and turn his eyes on his dog as well. “I can’t.”

For a few moments, you fell quiet again as the afternoon breeze softly blows between you. How has the tables turned like this?

“It’s Brian, right?”

You turned to him and sighed, not knowing how to answer. He refused to look at you as he tried to distract himself pulling out blades of grass from the ground. “Jae…”

“How are you so good at eat-pray-love-ing?” he chuckled humorlessly, “That night… I shouldn’t have let you go like that. I should have ran after you or barged on your door or something. Or stopped you at the airport. I shouldn’t have thought giving you space was the best thing to do. I shouldn’t have thought you’d come back to me anyway.”

“Nothing would have changed had you done that… you weren’t ready back then. Even if you really did like me already that time, it wasn’t enough for you to dive in with me. And I don’t think I deserve a half-assed commitment.” This time, Jae turned his eyes on you but you were the one who refused to meet his.

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, Jae. It wasn’t your fault you didn’t like me enough back then.” Saying it out loud now has brought back all your insecurities before. There’s still that little sting that crosses your heart.

“I was just plain stupid. _‘Not realizing what you have until you lost it…’_ That cliché came punching me in the face,” he chuckled softly, before his eyes turned serious. “But are you really sure about him? I mean, Erin…”

“Erin’s with Sungjin.” Your rebuttal sounded weak and baseless even to your ears. Last night was an escape. But now the reality has come crashing on you again, making you second-guess if what you did last night was the right thing to do. _It’s not a bad decision if it made you happy, right?_

“Come on, Y/N. We all know what’s beneath the surface.”

“I don’t know, Jae. We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.”

“I just hope you won’t regret anything. Just know I’m just here, okay?”

You spotted Jaedong running back to where you were seated. You shook off the heavy feeling and tried to cheer up again. “So you’re not gonna eat-pray-love on me?”

“Nah. I don’t want to get over you,” he said before standing up and meeting Jaedong, lifting him up on his arms before facing you again, “Yet.”

***

Jae walked you home after having dinner at your favorite chicken and beer place. it was a peaceful night, the moon gently illuminating your path. It has always been easy hanging out with him—though this time you felt like you had to tread carefully around his feelings. He’s always been good at hiding his emotions behind that I’m-a-cool-person mask he loves wearing, but you could definitely see through that now.

“Thanks,” you said upon reaching your place.

“Let’s do this again soon, okay?”

“Of course. Right, Jaedongie?” you reached out and ruffled the dog’s head. The dog licked your hand lovingly as he sleepily wagged his tail from Jae’s arms.

“This lazy dog is really gonna make me carry him home.”

You laughed before patting his shoulders, “Good night, Jae. Thanks for today.”

“Yeah…” he said, sighing. You could sense some sort of hesitation in his voice as he shifted his weight from one foot to another.

“I’m safe now. You can go on ahead,” You jokingly shooed him away as you stepped towards the gate. But you felt his hand catch yours as you walked away. You stopped on your tracks uneasily and faced him again.

“I’m sorry but I really have to do this… at least once…” he mumbled, looking at your hand that he was holding. He slowly looked up with hooded eyes and met yours, as if making sure you were looking at him as he mouthed _iloveyou._

Or at least that’s what it looked like—felt like, even. He didn’t give you time to process anything cos he started to walk away before you could even say anything.


	19. Complicated

It somehow hurts more being the one who is left behind versus being the one who walks away. There’s this dull ache on your chest as you watched Jae hurriedly walking away from you. Was this how he felt when you left him months ago? Maybe. Maybe not.

You were confident about your feelings with Brian yesterday but now that Jae has opened the pandora’s box, you suddenly felt unsure again. You sighed as you turned your back on him, feeling your phone vibrate from your pocket. It was Brian calling.

“Are you home?” he asked as soon as you answered.

“Yeah.”

“How was your date?” he asked teasingly.

Your forehead creased with his question. Were you supposed to tell him everything that happened today? You were never quite the storyteller, especially when you’re not in the mood to talk.

“Are you okay? What happened?” He sounded worried now with the way you didn’t answer his question.

“I am,” you replied curtly. You weren’t sure if he’s the right person to talk to when it comes to your Jae issues. You wanted to talk to Erin first but your relationship with her is kind of shaky right now, and you have this overflowing need to let it out or else you’ll go crazy.

“You can tell me anything, Y/N. Do you want me to come over?”

“Do you think I’m just rebounding on you?” you blurted out.

Brian fell quiet from the other line. You heard him sigh before he spoke. “Okay, let’s talk about this now, but not on the phone. I’m coming over.”

“No—” you tried to stop him but the call was ended abruptly.

**You don’t have to. Let’s talk tomorrow.** You quickly typed in, trying to stop him.

It took him a few seconds to reply but you frowned when you saw his message.

**No. I’m coming.**

You sighed as you entered the lobby and headed straight to the elevator. You absentmindedly pushed the button to your floor and walked towards your unit.

“What’s wrong?” you asked as soon as you opened the door, finding Erin seating quietly on the couch, having a staring contest with a can of beer. Two empty cans were lying below the table.

Erin threw you a quick glance before chugging her beer. “We broke up.”

“What?! Why?” You hurriedly sat beside her and grabbed a can from her six-pack.

“He broke up with me on Valentine’s day…” she corrected herself. “Because of him.”

Even if she didn’t say his name, you perfectly know whom she’s referring to. Is it finally time for the dreaded talk? You felt like it’s too late for it now though—you’ve already made a spur of the moment decision last night. You slumped yourself on the couch. All these emotions within 24 hours is dragging you down.

She held her beer to you and you softly clinked on it with yours. You opened your beer and gulped half of it down, sighing.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you forced yourself to ask. You didn’t, but you know you’d have to do it sooner or later.

Erin just stared ahead as she finished another can and tossed it off with her earlier pile. “You guys were right afterall.”

In other instances, her admitting you were right would have made you feel victorious. But it’s a completely different situation right now, and it’s one of those rare moments you actually wished you were wrong. You finished your beer off, not knowing what to say. But then again you didn’t know what she wanted to hear as well.

“Are you together now?” she asked in her smallest voice, the one she uses when she’s scared.

You swallowed an imaginary lump on your throat and looked away, refusing to answer.

“Huh. And in the silence, she found her answer!” she mocked as she laughed humorlessly, shaking her head. She’s clearly getting drunk already. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Y/N. I’d never hold it against you.”

Erin laughed again when you still didn’t answer. “Hey. Don’t shut down on me now.”

In awkward situations like this when you don’t know what to say, you tend to just shut down and make noncommittal sounds. The last time you had this kind of moment with her was when you decided to go away and move on from Jae. You couldn’t tell her you confessed and got rejected because Jae was in love with her. That wasn’t your story to tell. So you ended up telling her you had to ‘find yourself’. Of course, she didn’t believe that bullshit but she let it go. Could she just let it go again this time?

“He told me, okay? Last night, before he came here. He kind of asked for my permission to date you.” She rolled her eyes, remembering what happened. “Not that I’m your mother or anything. And not like my approval meant anything. I don’t really know why he did that. But yeah…” she drifted off, taking another can of beer and opening it as you waited anxiously for her to continue.

“I told you we’re cool, right? And we are. I’m not blaming you for anything. But I guess last night, it finally sank in to me in the way my heart ached when he told me he likes you more than he has ever liked anyone else. Or how he told me how you make him happy in the smallest ways. Or how he couldn’t stop gushing on the way you blush or roll your eyes at him. I never felt that jealous.” She laughed as she shook her head. “Ever.”

“Erin…” you tried to take her drink away but she just dodged your hand. “Let’s talk tomorrow, okay?”

“Anyway,” she continued as if she didn’t hear you, “Of course, Sungjin noticed how uneasy I was last night. So I told him everything. I literally poured my heart out to him cos I thought he’d somehow understand. I mean, I may have realized I loved Brian all along but you know I love Sungjin, too. I really do. And I was so sure I made him feel that in all those times we were together. But joke’s on me…” she blabbered, slurring here and there.

“Erin,” you said patiently. Even you couldn’t understand her predicament. “Try to put yourself in his shoes. Would you want your boyfriend to be in love with someone else aside from you?”

“No!” she pouted, “But it’s not the same… I love Brian but I’m in love with Sungjn,” she insisted, feeling frustrated that no one understands her. “I’m so confused now.”

“Let’s talk tomorrow okay? You’re drunk. You’re not making any sense.”

“I’m not drunk. I’m just sad.”

Your heart ached for her. She’s always been a bubbly person and for her to admit that she’s sad somehow made you feel guilty for all the wrong reasons. “Erin, come on. I’ll take you to bed.”

You stood and tried to pull her up to bring her to her room when you heard a knock on your door. You suddenly remembered Brian coming tonight.

“I’ll get that door. I’m not drunk.” Erin wobbly stood up and headed to the door before you could stop her. She opened it and sleepily smiled when she found Brian outside.

“Hey, E!” he smiled at her before his eyes searched for you. You smiled hesitantly when he found you, unable to move from the couch now. You felt actually scared of what’s to come.

“B!” Erin said before he hugged him, burying her face on his chest. Brian’s arms immediately caught her waist to keep his balance as he questioningly looked at you and the pile of empty cans on the floor.

You just shrugged your shoulders as you tried to ignore that nagging feeling that’s starting within you again. You started picking up the trash and cleaning up the mess on the table, avoiding looking at them. But you could see from your peripheral vision how he softly tucked her hair behind her ear as he hugged her back.

“What’s wrong?” you heard Brian ask her.

“I love you.” You froze and felt a chill on your spine, hearing Erin confess to your boyfriend. You turned to them and saw how Brian’s eyes widened at her before he shifted his eyes on you.


	20. Us

It’s as if time stood still as you just stared at each wordlessly. You both didn’t know how to react, so you just stood there, pitifully eyeing them and seeing how they did kind of make a good pair. Brian’s forehead creased as his eyes shifted questioningly between you and Erin, the latter seemed to have passed out in his arms.

“What made her this drunk?” His lips broke into a nervous smile as he tried to ease the tension. You finally decided to look away when you saw how he carefully maneuvered to lift her up and walked towards the couch.

You replied with a shrug as you continued cleaning up the coffee table. “I think you should bring her directly to her room now.”

“Which one’s her room?’

“First door to the right.” You pointed at the hallway leading to your rooms.

“Got it.” He murmured as he started walking towards the direction you pointed at. You looked away, feeling a tinge of jealousy again.

You busied yourself with washing the dishes on the sink as you waited for Brian to come out. You expected him to tuck her in so it should take him awhile. You got deep in thoughts trying to distract yourself from thinking about what they could be doing in the privacy of her room.

“Don’t let it bother you.” You got startled when you suddenly felt him slowly wrap his arms around your shoulders, his right hand ruffling your hair. You shivered as he softly breathed near your ear.

“Brian!” you berated him as you dropped a plate on the sink, splashing water all over your shirt. You turned off the faucet before breaking away from his arms and turning around to face him. His hands shifted to lean on the sink behind you now, still effectively capturing you within his arms, as he lowered his face to your level.

“Erin and I… She’s like the little sister I never had…”

“You don’t have to explain to me.” You tried to avoid his eyes, but he wouldn’t let you. “It doesn’t matter.”

He stared at you as if daring you to lie again. “She’s just drunk.”

“No offense to your friendship but I think I know her better than you do,” you snapped.

“You believe her?” Brian pushed himself back, and stared you down, crossing his arms like a father disappointed on his kid.

“I think you guys should talk it out.” You avoided his eyes as you stepped away from the kitchen, him following you to the couch.

He sighed as he sat beside you. “Okay. But that’s really not what I’m here for tonight.”

_Right._ “I told you not to come over,” was all you could say. You reached for the remote control to open the TV for distraction.

“We need to sort this out already so we could move on and live blissfully ever after.”

Even though you have your eyes focused on the TV, you could definitely see him smile to himself as he pulled you to his arms. You couldn’t help but sigh as you let yourself lean back on his chest. His warmth somehow radiates to you, calming you down. He didn’t seem bothered by Erin’s drunken confession earlier. Either he doesn’t care or he’s seen it all before…

“I’m listening,” he murmured against your ear as his finger played with the strands of your hair.

_Where to start?_

“I fell in love with Jae.” It was the first time you said it out loud to someone else. You felt him stiffen a bit but he didn’t say anything so you continued. “But he wasn’t in love with me. So I took some time away to move on from him and save our friendship. The first time we saw each other again after I confessed to him was that night at the bar.”

“I figured…”

“I’ve moved on from him. I was confident I could be friends with him again. Part of the reason was you.” You felt his lips softly touch your ear, making you shiver. “But now he’s telling me he loves me… and I don’t know why I’m feeling the way I’m feeling right now.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know… Sad?” You struggled to find a better word for it, but it all boils down simply to that three-letter word. Like how Erin admitted it earlier.

“But how do you feel about me?” he asked, sounding a bit insecure.

You paused and pondered for a while, realizing you never really told him anything. You just dove head on. “You make me happy…”

“I’m glad.” He wrapped his arms around you tighter. You felt him heave a deep breath before speaking again. “You know what? We never really move on. There’d always be that space in our hearts reserved for the people we loved. We just make space for new ones and the distribution differs in time, but once you let them in, I believe there’s no way you could ever kick them out.”

You deliberated his words silently, somehow seeing a deeper meaning in all those. “How long have you been in love with her?” you asked, half-wishing him to deny it.

“Since forever?” he chuckled softly after a short pause. “It took me a while to admit it to myself, and it took me a while to get over it. But all those happened a long time ago. That’s a closed chapter in my book now.”

“Did you tell her?” you asked quietly.

“Nah. I was a coward. She never saw me anyway.”

“What if she did?” You smiled to yourself ironically, suddenly feeling like an intruder in their love story. In an alternate universe where you don’t like Brian, this could have made you all giddy… gushing over their love story. But now, it just hurts you.

“Hey.” He forced you to look at him but you refused to. “I’m over it now, Y/N. She’s happy with Sungjin. And I’m happy with you.”

You’ve barely just started though. How could that ever compete with what he had for her? “What if after all these, we realize we were never what we say we were…”

“I believe in us. You just have to believe in us, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk but this feels wrong..  
> posting it anyway 🤡


	21. Fall

You stirred in your sleep when you heard something fall on the floor. Your eyes drifted open and immediately saw Brian’s sleeping face just a few inches from yours, softly breathing through his slightly opened mouth. You tried to move away but you felt his arms around you tighten, a habit he might have mastered through the night as you both tried to not fall off the couch.

You vaguely remembered how and when you fell asleep last night. You were just talking and rambling about random things until you weren’t.

“’Morning,” he murmured, eyes still closed.

You pushed him back and tried to get up, looking for the thing that fell off the couch, which turned out to be your phone. You picked it up and your sleep was immediately wiped off, seeing a text message from Erin.

**_I’ll head out first. Can’t face him yet after last night._ **

****

It was already 9AM on a Sunday. She must have went to church? Or Sungjin’s? Wherever she headed out to, bottomline is she surely must have seen you and Brian cuddling on the couch. You sighed guiltily.

“Don’t let it bother you. We always say that to each other,” he said last night when he noticed how you got quiet when the conversation steered towards Erin again.

_It’s different this time,_ you wanted to say. But you ended up just avoiding his eyes. It’s not your story to tell.

“You say those words to her, too, right? That’s normal between friends…” he added.

“Your analogy is so…” you paused, getting annoyed. “So it’s okay if I say it to Jae, too?”

He was visibly taken aback by your question as he regarded you, forehead creased. “I— guess?”

You scoffed at his reply. He was obviously trying to win the conversation and prove his point. You took your phone and fumbled with it to find Jae’s number. “I’ll call him now and tell him that then..”

And just like that, your phone was snatched from your hands and you found yourself locked up in his arms again. He buried his face on your neck as you felt him put your phone on the back pocket of your jeans. “No. It’s not okay. I’m sorry.”

“You see it now?”

He hummed his response against your skin. You both got quiet again, both lost in thoughts.

“You haven’t even said those words to me and you’re gonna tell him that in front of me?” he suddenly lifted his head to face you again.

You couldn’t help but laugh at his whiny face but turned serious again as you pondered on your thoughts. “You know how they say it’s harder to say words you actually mean… especially when you’ve been so used to saying them out loud… that’s why I can’t help but doubt you, seeing how you easily throw them around.” You guiltily avoided his eyes as you let out a nervous laugh.

Brian kept quiet for a while, his expression was now devoid of any playfulness as he stared you down. “Okay.”

Your forehead creased hearing his reply. His finger lifted your chin up so you would meet his eyes. He stared you down tenderly, as if wanting to say something but stopping himself from talking.

“I’ve got three words I really wanted to say right now, but okay.”

You felt your heart stop beating for brief moment, until it started to function again, way faster than usual. Of course you knew what he meant. “Okay..”

The corner of his lips lifted but he bit it lightly, trying to stop a smile from breaking out. “I really hope we’re on the same page right now. I’m not assuming things, right?”

You shrugged your shoulders to tease him. “Okay, Brian!”

He suddenly dropped a hasty kiss on your forehead before burying his face on your neck again, where you felt his lips turn into a smile.

“Bri, I’m gonna fall!” you said when you felt your back hitting the edge of the sofa again.

“We’re gonna fall hard.” He laughed, but pulled you closer, entangling your limbs further.

***

Reality came knocking just a few hours after Brian left. You happily opened the door expecting to see him back so soon, since he promised to just take a shower and change before your supposed second date.

“Forgot my keys, sorry.” Erin said as she walked past you, heading straight to her room.

You wiped the smile off your face, following her. “Where did you go?”

She just shrugged as she laid down on her bed, exhausted. She closed her eyes and put an arm over her forehead. You sat beside her and took one of her stuffed toys.

“Let’s talk, Erin.”

“I’m not gonna come between you…”

Your breath hitched at her reply. “That’s… That’s not what I—”

“I get it, Y/N. Just, let me be for a while, please?” she said softly.

“I’m still your best friend, Erin. I’m still here for you. You know I don’t like seeing you like this.”

“But you’re one of the reasons why I’m like this, Y/N. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault but it’s just…” Erin heaved a deep sigh turned her back on you, “It just got too complicated. I just need to sort my feelings out, okay? Give me time.”

“Erin…” You couldn’t help but sigh when she didn’t reply. You never imagined something like this ruining your friendship with her. You stood up from her bed and headed towards the door, but before going out, you turned to her again. “You should talk to Brian.”


	22. Walk

“You should talk to her, Bri.” You said as soon as he answered his phone. 

“Huh? Who?” He replied cluelessly.

“Erin.”

“I thought we’re done with this issue, Y/N.” You heard him sigh through the phone. “I’m already on my way to pick you up.”

“I already left.”

“What?! Where are you?”

You wandered aimlessly when you left your house, but it wasn’t surprising when you found yourself at the park again. You breathed in the air to calm you down. “Just talk to her, please? She’s at home.” 

“Y/N.” You can sense him slowly losing his patience at you. You nervously bit in your nails as you waited for him to say something. He let out a sigh again after a while and murmured, “I’ve planned so much for our second date and you’re just gonna ditch me.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Fine, I’ll talk to her. This is completely unnecessary but if it makes you feel better... Just.. tell me where you are right now? Don’t make me feel worried.”

“Just around. Don’t worry.”

“I’ll find you after, okay?”

“Okay..” you said before ending the call, somehow feeling defeated.

***

“Fancy seeing you here..”

You got pulled out of your deep thoughts when Jae suddenly sat beside you on the bench. You didn’t know how long you’ve been sitting there, just people-watching, willing your mind to be completely devoid of thoughts. You had your phone turned off so you couldn’t see the time but basing on how the sun has gone down a lot now, it must have been more than an hour already.

“What are you doing here?” You asked. 

“Just walking around. Running.”

You noticed how he was kind of short in breath, his chest slightly heaving from exhaustion, but his face looked really relieved. 

“Where have you been?” You asked curiously, but deep down you had a hunch of what’s going on as you turned your phone on again. 

Several messages from Brian come pouring in:

** Where are you? **

** Y/N. **

** Why is your phone turned off? Please tell me where you are.  **

** You’re worrying me.  **

** Please. **

** Okay... **

“Are you okay?” He asked instead, looking at you with his worried eyes. He looked pitiful, pitying you, you couldn’t help but smile. 

“I don’t know.” You looked away, your smile fading as you watched little kids run around the playground.

“I’m here.” He just said, hesitantly holding your hand. 

“How did you know I was here?”

He shrugged, “Just a wild guess..”

“Who told you to look for me?” You asked quietly. You felt his grip on your hand tighten but he didn’t answer. 

“Jae..” you pushed.

“No one, Y/N. He just called to ask me where you were. It was Erin’s phone he was using. And judging from the way you had your phone turned off, I just made conclusions.”

You just nodded in response and kept quiet for a while. Jae started humming off some random tunes, the way he always does when you both get quiet.

“How did you... how did you walk away from Erin?” You asked after a while.

“Why are you suddenly asking that?” He chuckled, embarrassed. 

You just shrugged your shoulder and didn’t answer.

“It was hard to watch them but it was harder to look away.. and I realized I was being too hard on myself so I forced myself to take that first step away. It was... torture. Cos we‘re in the same group, right? But somehow I saw you, and you saw me, and I realized maybe I just have to walk towards something else to make it easier.” He smiled nervously as he softly caressed your hand with his thumb. “Do you wanna try that? Walk back to me.”


	23. Why

You couldn’t hold on his gaze after what he said, so you just looked away guiltily, wondering how you were able to walk away from Jae before but just thinking of doing that to Brian now makes your heart ache. Did you ever really love him? Or was it all just a skin-deep infatuation over the sense of comfort he gives you?

“Would you really let this ruin your friendship with Erin? I mean, even Sungjin knows how he cannot compete with him. And honestly, you’ve only known him for like weeks.”

“You don’t have to rub it on my face...”

“I’m not.” You felt his hand grip yours tighter when you tried to pull it back. “I just don’t want you regretting anything.”

You sighed as you felt your phone start to vibrate again with a call from Brian. You chose to ignore it, your fingers daintily touching his face flashing on the screen. “But he told me he’s over it..” you said weakly.

“Erin isn’t…”

And just like that, you were pulled back to reality again. Could you really let one guy ruin your relationship with your best friend? Could you really let your best friend ruin one of the best things you’ve had?

“Wow. This feels like a movie.” You leaned back on the bench, propping your feet up, feeling exhausted. This time, he finally let go of your hand. You hugged your knees and rested your cheek on it as you turned to face him, your phone still vibrating on one hand. “ And we’re the supporting characters to their great love story. The ones who didn’t get chosen.”

You heard him chuckle humorlessly as he copied your position and face you. “Doesn’t have to be… You just have to choose me and we could play out our own. The ones who let go.”

“If only it was that easy.” Your phone has stopped ringing so you put it down beside you.

“Hey! I’m the easiest choice here!” he smiled at you. It has already started to get dark, the moon was hiding behind the clouds. The streetlights from a few meters away are the only things illuminating your faces. Even then, you could see how his smile never really reaches his eyes.

“I… can’t.” You buried your face on your knees to hide from him. You don’t want to see his sad eyes again.

Jae was quiet for a while before you heard him heave a deep sigh. “But why?” he asked like a kid.

“I don’t know, Jae.” This time you looked at him again and met his eyes. He was looking at you tenderly, waiting for an explanation. “I think I love him now.” You felt like tearing up on your admittance.

He blinked and smiled to himself, avoiding your eyes now. “But why…”

“Do you really want to hear me answer that?”

“But why?” he repeated.

“Jae…” you felt exasperated by the way he kept on asking when you both know you both didn’t want to answer that.

This time, his eyes turned serious as he stared at you. “Just give me one good reason to let you go.”

Your breath hitched as you took in his words. You know how it feels so let go of someone you love. But being the one someone lets go of? _This isn’t supposed to feel this way._

“Why, Y/N?” he pushed when you still didn’t answer.

“Because he makes me happy?” You blurted out with a quivering voice. Simple as that. There was really no other explanation you could think of that would make everything worthy of this situation. You just love him.

“But are you happy now?”

You paused, wondering what’s the right answer to that. “All thing considered, I could be…”

“Good enough.” He nodded to himself, smiling faintly. “Did I ever make you happy? Or was hurting you all I ever did?”

Your forehead creased at his question. “We wouldn’t be here if you never did. That’s why it took me a while to get over you…” you drifted off.

He scoffed but got quiet for a moment. “I can’t be friends with you again.”

You suddenly turned to him again and watched him stare straight ahead. You deliberated if he was serious or not, but sighed when you realized he was. _Of course. Even I had to walk away before._

“Yet?” you asked, hopeful.

He turned to you and gazed at your face, weighing his emotions. You patiently waited for him to answer and breathed a sigh of relief when he smiled and nodded, “Yet.” He shook his head unbelievingly and scoffed, “You’re so ugly.”

You softly laughed at him, remembering how he would always say that to you before when he’s in a losing battle with you. “Thank you for always making me win.”

“I’m not. It’s just that I’ve always been a loser.” He laughed.

Your phone started ringing again with a call from Brian. You sighed as you stared at your phone.

“Answer it.”

You turned to Jae with a question, “What if I don’t want to hear what he’s gonna say?”

“What if it’s not what you expected?” He took your phone and swiped to answer his call. He put the phone on your ear, your hands trembling as you caught it.

“Finally!” Brian sounded exasperated but you kept quiet. “Where are you?”

“Are you gonna break up with me now?” you asked.

“Y/N. Tell me where you are first. Let’s talk in person.” He said patiently.

“Do it now..” you said bravely… stubbornly. “And we don’t have to see each other again.”

Jae suddenly snatched your phone from your hand and ended the call as soon as he told Brian where you were. You glared at him as you took your phone back.

“I’m not letting you go just so you could let go of him,” he said incredulously. “Tonight, only one of us lets go.”

You felt like tearing up, feeling the sense of an ending. “You’re so ugly,” was all you could say.

“I came running tonight cos I thought I was gonna be a knight in shining armour who’d save you from him. Never realized I’d be the knight who brings you to him instead.” He jokingly said.

“Still a knight, nonetheless.” You laughed dryly.

He suddenly stood up and turned serious again as held his hand to yours. “If you ever lose anything after tonight, just walk back to me. Walk back to me and I’ll walk you back to him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #TheSenseOfAnEnding


	24. Slow

The look of relief in Brian’s face when he saw you almost made you forget why he was here in the first place. He hurriedly went out his car but his steps came into an abrupt stop seeing how Jae was holding your hand, until he started walking slowly to where you were standing.

“Fighting,” Jae’s voice was barely above a whisper before you felt his hold on your hand loosen as he took a step back and started walking away to the opposite direction. It was as if your feet were rooted to the ground as you achingly watched Jae’s back moving away and away from you, but at the same time hearing Brian’s footsteps come closer.

“Y/N..” you heard him call, but before you could even turn to him, you felt his arms encircle your waist as his head dropped on your shoulder with an exasperated but relieved sigh. “Don’t you ever disappear on me again like that.”

You put your hands daintily on top of his arms, confused on how to react. Still, his warm breath on your neck has started to calm you down. You felt his lips touch your skin softly before he lifted his head up and turned you to face him. For a few moments, you just stared at each other wordlessly, waiting for each other to break the silence. Your conversation with Jae kept on replaying on your mind as you looked at him, your resolution slowly getting firmer.

“Why do I feel like whatever I say won’t make you change whatever you have on your mind…” he said after a while, a look of understanding has somehow filled his eyes.

You sighed as you blinked away your guilt, pulling away from him. “Let’s talk inside?” you said as you started moving towards his car and entering the passenger seat. Brian followed suit but you kept your eyes in front as he waited for you to talk.

“Brian..” you started shakily.

“It’s you. I still choose you.” He caught your hand, trying to stop you from talking, his voice almost sounded panicky.

“I’m not asking you to choose, Bri.”

“Well, I’m asking you to choose me,” his eyes were practically begging you as he gripped your hand tighter. “I told you, I no longer have feelings for Erin. Whatever you think she told me now doesn’t change the way I feel about you. I love you, Y/N. Whatever you’re thinking..” he shook his head, “don’t. Just don’t.”

You fell silent again as you looked at him but your lips couldn’t help breaking into a smile amidst the sullen mood. “How’d you even know what I’m thinking?”

“You have that look.” He said, biting his lip uncertainly, as he tried to read your face.

“What look?” you raised an eyebrow, smiling now.

He shook his head again and avoided your eyes. “You seldom tell me what you’re thinking. You do things that’d always catch me off guard. You’d always say one thing and do the opposite the next day. I feel like I’m always on the edge whenever you’re not within my reach.”

“Whoa. One minute you’re practically acting so hurt and now you’re mad?” Now his sudden outburst caught you offguard but you were actually glad it kind of lifted the mood up.

“That’s because I’m sure you’re not breaking up with me now.” He pouted before avoiding your eyes, his thumb now softly playing with your palm.

“I just needed some peace and quiet that’s why I turned my phone off. I’m sorry.”

“Is that the only thing you’re sorry for?”

“I’m not sorry I pushed you to talk to Erin..” you suddenly felt defensive.

“I’m not talking about that.” He suddenly held your hand up. “ You were holding hands with Jae!”

You scoffed, “Really now, Brian?”

“You haven’t even told me you love me…” he added in a small voice before kissing your hand.

His kiss sent butterflies to your stomach but you had to push it down so you could clearly let out your thoughts from earlier. “Can I ask what you talked about?” you changed the topic, not ready to admit anything to him yet.

He turned to you and turned serious. “Pretty much what you expected her to.”

You didn’t reply and waited for him to continue.

“But I told her that I don’t think she really loves me the way she says she does. Yes, at one point in time, we might have loved each other more than we should but I believe we’re way both past that. The only difference between us is that she’s only realizing and coming to terms with it now. I don’t know… maybe she felt threatened by the way I have you now? Just like I did when she first told me about Sungjin.”

You nodded at him, taking in his words and thinking about Erin. _Was it… really?_

“In the end, we just promised each other to not let go of what makes us happy.” He squeezed your hand tenderly.

“There’s one thing I’m sorry for…” you blurted out before you could change your mind.

He turned to you with a question.

“I’m sorry I kissed you first…” you fidgeted with his finger on yours, unable to look him in the eye.

“You shouldn’t be.” He gave you an amused but assuring smile.

“And made you believe I was ready…” you added quietly.

He paused, his forehead creasing, “What do you mean?”

“Can we take things slow?”

“Now? After everything?” he said unbelievingly.

You sighed, “What’s the rush anyway? I just feel like we really shouldn’t be jumping into this when we clearly still have issues to resolve within us.”

“I don’t.”

“I do. I feel like things are going too fast and I’m only riding on the high I feel whenever I’m with you. But deep inside…” you drifted off, not really knowing how to put it in words.

Brian was quiet for a while, pondering your words. You waited patiently for him to say something. Even you couldn’t understand why you were doing this, but you believe it’s what you needed for things to go smoothly, and not drag anyone with your indecisions.

“Is it still Erin?”

“No, Bri.”

“Jae?”

“No.” you rolled your eyes at him. “It’s me. Why don’t you believe my cliché?”

“Because I don’t understand why we can’t do it together. Why do we have to breakup?”

“Because we’ve only been on one date?” you tried to suppress your laughter.

“That’s not funny.” He glared at you, still not letting go of your hand.

“Well, I’m not really ‘breaking up’ with you,” you put quotation marks in the air. “I just want us to take a few steps back. Take things slow.” You sighed as you tried to make him see your point.

“So you just want to strip me off of my label and keep on dating me?” he asked, visibly perplexed and annoyed, but you just find it funny how his tone sounded like a kid being bullied.

“Well, if you… if you want to put it that way, then…”

“Wow. I never thought you were this type of girl.”

“Bri…” you laughed, feeling lighter.

“How many dates?”

“What?”

“How many dates will it take?” he asked so seriously.

“That’s not how it works.”

“Can I still hold your hand?”

“Yes.”

“Can I still hug you?”

“Y-yeah?”

“Can I still kiss you?”

This time, you couldn’t help but scoff, feeling your cheeks burn, “Well..”

He pursed his lips to suppress a smile, “Then we don’t have to break up. What’s the difference anyway?”

You pulled your hand from his and crossed your arms on your chest. “I feel like talking to a kid.” You gave up.

“And I feel like talking to a stubborn girlfriend.” He crossed his arms on his chest, too, and stared straight ahead. “Okay, I’ll wait for you. I’d change nothing and wait till the day you’d want to claim me as yours.” He turned to you and caught your eye. “Because I am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think you could tell and I'm sorry I keep on changing my mind by the way this is supposed to end. 😭  
> But yeah, one more chapter to go, I think?
> 
> PS imma reserve the heartbreaks for Almost 2. 🤡


	25. (Special Chapter) Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erin x Brian talk (by request 🤣)

“What are you doing here?”

It was a rhetorical question. Of course Erin knew why Brian was here. It must have been her.

Brian smiled and hesitantly raised his right hand for a small wave, “Hi?” He pushed the door open and walked past her, heading straight towards the couch. “I believe we should talk.”

Erin let out a nervous breath, closing the door before moving to sit beside him. “What did she say?” She asked, a bit annoyed at her stubborn best friend.

“That I should talk to you? What is this about? What’s wrong?” he sounded worried, trying to catch her eye.

She felt like a cat being cornered by the way he was pressing her for answers. She stealthily avoided his gaze and stood up instead but he was quick to catch her arm and pull her back down.

“Erin.” He warned her with a glare.

“I haven’t even figured it all out myself, and now I have to tell you…” she muttered under her breath as she slumped on the couch, slowly getting nervous. She picked up a throw pillow and fidgeted with its edges as Brian regarded her patiently, waiting for her to talk.

Brian broke the silence with a sigh as he rested his body on the couch as well, facing her. “You know you can tell me anything, E.”

Growing up, Brian has always been her confidante. Her safety blanket. She’d always tell him everything that’s on her mind because she knows he’d always listen and would always want the best for her. But ever since he left the country to work abroad, he was never the same. Even now that he’s back, even before she knew about him and her best friend, he didn’t seem to be the Brian that she knew and grew up with. He wasn’t her Brian anymore.  
  
  


“Sungjin broke up with me.”

“Wh—”

“Because of you..” she said in a small voice. She saw how his eyes widened before she avoided his stare, scared to see how he’d react.

“Because I love you,” she bravely said. Her heartbeats were deafening even in the dead silence that ensued after she let those words out. At this point, she didn’t even know what she’s hoping to come out from this situation. But if he loves her back…

She raised her head up, wanting to meet his eyes. But this time, he was the one who looked away.

“Erin..” Brian looked helpless as he struggled to find the right words to say to not hurt his best friend… the woman he once loved.

She smiled bitterly, knowing the answer in the way he said her name.

“I love her.” He spoke so carefully, as if that would soften the blow.

Erin hitched a breath as she desperately tried to stop her tears from betraying her. “I know,” she nodded. It was a losing battle to begin with, but at least she tried, right? At the expense of her heart breaking into even smaller pieces. What hurts more than a what-if? It’s having them answered in the opposite of what you were hoping for.

“But for the record, I did..” this time he looked at her warily.

She looked at him with a question, afraid her voice would break if she let out another word. His eyes felt like an ocean she could drown into, and she’s scared she’ll drown, alone, that she just had to look away to save herself.

“Love you..” he added.

She felt her heart stop beating for a second. “Since when?” she managed to croak out, her heart half-hoping again.

“Since forever?” He nervously chuckled, “But it took me a long while to finally accept that I really did fall for you.”

“Did..” _Past tense._ She got her hopes up, and now, she just felt like free-falling again.

“When I saw how you were happy with Sungjin, that’s when I decided to let go. I realized I had to move away if I wanted to keep our friendship. Cos I can’t lose you, Erin. You’re one of the most important people in my life.”

This time, Erin’s tears just started to fall. Brian pulled her to his chest and hugged her as she quietly cried her heart out against his. “Please don’t lose me now,” she whispered amidst her tears.

“I can never lose you.” He sighed, softly running his fingers through her hair. “Maybe you don’t really love me the way you say you do. You were happy with him .”

_Was it supposed to hurt like this though? If I don’t really love you?_ Erin thought as she tried to calm herself down. She can never lose him, too.

“Maybe..” she chose to lie. She chose to keep him.

“You’ll always have me, E.”

_Never in the way that I want._ She pulled away when she felt him kiss the top of her head. Brian reached for her face to wipe her tears away and tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear as she tried hard to stop herself from crying even harder.

“Stop crying now. You know I hate your tears.” He murmured softly.

“Go find her. That stubborn girl could be plotting your breakup already in her head.” She sniffled as she pulled her phone out to look for her best friend. She didn’t know for how much longer she could put up this brave front and not breakdown in front of him. _It hurts, but you don’t have to see it._

“But—”

“Promise me you’re never gonna hurt her. And you’re never gonna let go of what makes you happy.” Her voice quivered.

Brian just nodded as he carefully regarded her. “You too. Make me the same promise.”

Erin just smiled ironically as she sucked in the pain.

_But I have just let you go._


	26. Post

“Do you really have to move out?” You asked Erin for the hundredth time already. You sat helplessly on her bed as you watched her carefully pack her things up on her trusty luggage.

Erin sighed and faced you, tired of the conversation already. “Yes.”

“I told you, I _kinda_ broke up with him already.”

She blew a raspberry at you and mocked your words. “Y/N, ’kinda’ doesn’t count. I’m still ‘kinda’ mad at you too for putting me on the spot when I clearly asked for time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you anymore.”

You paused and looked at her square in the eye. “We’re taking it slow. Until we’re all ready.”

“Stop considering me, okay? It’s just making me feel worse,” she stood up and sat beside you. “I didn’t lie to Brian because of you. Get that off your chest.”

You fidgeted with the corners of her pillow you were holding, looking for the right words to say.

“I just need time. And space. I’ll be back when I’m okay.” She smiled before smirking and whipping her hair, “Besides, you won’t be the only one waiting for me.”

“Call often?” you smiled hesitantly. You know you can never really make her change her decisions. That’s just how she is.

She nodded before pulling you in for a hug. “Be happy, okay?”

***

It’s been two months since Erin moved out and you haven’t seen her for that long as well. You still talk to each other from time to time but it was never how it used to be. Jae has also been keeping his distance and you totally understand that.

It was a big blow to you, losing your two best friends at the same time, but Brian has been making up for it. He was the only one acting like nothing happened and you don’t know if you prefer it that way or not. One thing for sure is that he’s been keeping you afloat.

You glanced at your watch as you waited for him to arrive at this café where you were supposed to have dinner together. You don’t keep count of your dates anymore but he was unusually late tonight. You mentally debated texting him or just waiting patiently. You don’t have the right to demand anything anyway.

You were sipping on your cup of coffee when Brian came rushing in. He smiled apologetically before taking the seat in front of you.

“I’m sorry.” He started, still out of breath. “I was walking from the parking lot on the next building when I passed by this busker and I just felt so captivated by his singing, I just had to stop and watch him.”

You scoffed unbelievingly at his story, “Okay? You don’t have to explain.” You dismissed him and called the waiter for the menu. “Let’s order?”

“I’m not lying,” he said as soon as he ordered food and the waiter was out of earshot.

“I didn’t say anything.”

“But you don’t believe me,” he pouted.

You raised an eyebrow at him, “Are we really going to fight over this?”

He raised an eyebrow at you, too, copying your facial expression. You glared at him and then he laughed, pulling his phone out from his jean’s pocket. “No. I’m just stirring things up.” He scrolled through his phone and put it on the table across you. “Here’s a video I took. He’s really good.”

Your eyes shifted curiously to his phone screen as he played a video of him seating on an unfamiliar alley with a mic on his hand, a guitarist was sitting across him. You looked at him with a creased forehead, realizing he’s wearing the same clothes on the video. He smiled hesitantly as his singing filled the air. 

_She said, "Baby, I'm afraid to fall in love_

_'Cause what if it's not reciprocated?_

You felt your heart start beating faster as you take in the lyrics of his song. “I didn’t know you sing…” was all you could say.

“Well, now you do.” He smiled shyly, his hand coming up his nape.

You didn’t answer as you shifted your eyes back to his phone and listened quietly.

_I told her, "Thinking is all wrong_

_Love will happen when it wants_

_I know it hurts sometimes, but don't let it go”_

By the end of the video, you just found yourselves staring at each other wordlessly and had it not been for the waiter who came and brought your food, you didn’t know how long you would have been drowning in each other’s eyes.

You cleared your throat and picked up your spoon and fork. “I’m hungry.”

Brian smiled and picked his utensils up as well. “Starving.”

***

You didn’t talk about the video again until he took you home. You just awkwardly said ‘thank you’ and ‘good night’ before you went out of his car and dashed inside your building, heart still beating erratically.

As you lied down on your bed, your mind went back to the first time you met him. You scrolled on your phone to find that picture you took of him, stealthily, while he was asleep. His sleeping silhouette, sans the book on his face, was perfect against the sunrise.

_Am I ready?_ Your heart was pounding on your chest as you finally decided to upload the picture on your IG account, tagging him in a post that’s only captioned with an ‘Okay.”

_He’s still on the way home anyway._ You nervously thought as you put your phone face down underneath your pillow. You tried to calm yourself down by washing up and finishing your night time routines for a tad longer than usual.

When you went out of the bathroom, you took your phone out, anticipating a reply already, but your heart fell in disappointment as there was still nothing from him.

_Is he still not home?_

_Or is he purposely ignoring me?_

Your head was filled with anxious thoughts as you finally decided to distract yourself with a few episodes of your favorite show on Netflix. Halfway through your third episode (and more than an hour later), your phone finally decided to ping you with notifications.

_youngkgram_ liked your post.

 _youngkgram_ tagged you in a post.

You nervously clicked on it and you saw an unfamiliar picture of you, alone, watching the sunset at Haneul Park on your last day in Korea. You remember that day so well cos that was the day you finally let go of what was keeping you down back then.

The caption read:

_When I first saw you, you were basking in the sunset alone, in that park overlooking the Han river. It was too chaotic as there were a lot of people. But you were there, looking calm and peaceful. It made me feel the same and I just had to take a picture to remind me of how I felt that time._

Another notification came in as soon as you finished reading his post, tearing up.

_youngkgram_ tagged you in a post.

This time, it was a silhouette of you, looking out the window, watching the sunrise from the plane. He must have taken it after you switched seats with him.

_The next time I saw you, you were too fascinated by the sunrise, I just had to give you my seat. You must have loved sunsets and sunrises.. But The Little Prince said that ‘one loves the sunset when one is so sad..’ and I kept on wondering what made you sad. And I kept on having this weird feeling that somehow, I should be making you smile._

_youngkgram_ sent you a message.

Your heart was beating faster and louder as you opened your inbox and read his message.

**Are you smiling?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’ve reached the end.  
> A big thanks to everyone who read and appreciated this one. ☺️


	27. (Special Chapter) Toy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a short drabble cos YBC is too cute! 🥺

“It’s our 1st anniversary and you’re bailing on me?!” He asked incredulously, trying his best to glare at you through the screen. 

He was already on his way to you for your date when your neighbor suddenly—desperately, begged you to babysit her kid for the day. And you couldn’t say no. Of course.

You sighed apologetically, rubbing Dio’s hair softly—Dio, the 3 year old kid, who was peacefully eating his chocolate beside you. “I’m sorry, okay? But it’s just.. look at him! How can you say no to this baby?” You gestured your camera to let him see Dio. Dio just cutely smiled at the camera.

“But what about THIS baby?” He pouted. His eyebrows almost meeting in the middle as he drove his car.

“We can still spend the day here?” You suggested. “You love kids, don’t you?”

“No.”

“Really?” You asked, surprised with his answer.

“Not when they’re taking you away from me.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah. You’re such a baby. Can you get some take out from the fast food down the corner?”

He gave you a side-eye and exaggerated a sigh. “I don’t have a choice, don’t I?”

***

“Bri! Stop scaring him.” You swatted his arm as soon as he squeezed himself on the tiny space beside you on the sofa, glaring at the kid on your lap. 

“What did I do?” He dropped the plastic bag of takeout food on the floor and kissed your cheek before slumping his head on your shoulder. “Happy anniversary.”

Dio was surprised at the intruder and looked like he was in the brink of crying. “This is Uncle Brian. He’s a friend,” you cooed, softly brushing his hair with your fingers.

“Me too.” Brian took your other hand and brought it up to his head as well, willing you to brush his hair as well. 

But you smacked his forehead instead and grinned. “Happy anniversary.”

“You owe me this day.”

“Oh yeah?” You laughed as you carefully lifted Dio up and placed him on Brian’s arms. “Take care of him while I prep the food. Don’t make him cry!”

You stood up and picked up the paper bag from the floor.

“Y/N!” He called as he looked at the kid cluelessly. Dio looked as confused as him. 

“You can do it. You almost have the same brain age.” You teased as you walked to the kitchen, leaving them on their own. 

“HA-HA. Not funny.”

“Oh. I have to get this delivery from Erin. I’ll be quick.” You said when you received a text message from your lobby guard and hurriedly went out before he could even protest.

When you came back, you found the two on the opposite sides of the coffee table, Brian playing with a toy car. Dio was laughing happily at the way he played with the car.

You smiled to yourself as you went back to the kitchen. They barely noticed you as they were having the time of their lives with Dio’s toys. Brian was obviously having fun, too; the kid in him can never be suppressed afterall.

“See?” You heard Brian’s high pitched voice, “You just have to do this and vroom!”

“Having fun?” You approached the couch and set the food on the coffee table. They ignored you as they continued playing around excitedly. “Time to eat Dio.”

Dio reluctantly stood up and walked to sit beside you but Brian pulled him over to sit on his lap instead. 

“Which one do you want to eat?” He asked as he reached for the fries but he ate it himself.

You just sat back and watched them eat, amused at the sudden turn of events. You didn’t notice you fell asleep on the couch until you felt Brian’s hand softly brushing your cheek. Your eyes fluttered open and found yourself face to face with him. He was sitting on the carpet, leaning on the couch facing you.

“Where’s Dio?” You asked.

“His mom already got him. We didn’t want to wake you up.”

“What time is it?”

“Hmm. It’s still our anniversary.” He grinned wickedly, obviously thinking of something naughty.

You glanced at the time on your phone. It was already 8:30PM. You’ve been asleep for two hours. You slapped your forehead guiltily. 

“Gosh. I’m sorry for sleeping on you two.”

“You deserve to rest. You seemed tired the whole week. I told you to stop overworking yourself.” He quietly reprimanded.

You just scrunched your nose as you got up to sit. He moved to lie down on your lap instead. He reached for your hand and led it to his hair and you willingly obliged. Sometimes he’s just like a cat who loves to be petted. 

“Dio left his toy car,” you muttered when you saw the toy still on the coffee table.

Brian bit the insides of his cheek guiltily. “He might have given that to me.”

“Might?” You scoffed. “You stole a toy from a three year old?!”

“No!” His forehead creased in defense. “I just borrowed it and he said he’d just give it to me instead. Cos I’m his favorite uncle now, FYI.” He proudly said.

“I thought you don’t like kids.”

“Never said that,” he denied.

You chuckled as you ran your fingers through his hair again and that seemed to calm him down. “Right. I know what to get you now for your birthday.”

“What?”

You raised an eyebrow suggestively, suppressing a smile as you pointed at the toy.

“A toy car?” He asked incredulously.

You couldn’t help but laugh again at the thought. You’d just bring him to a toy store and let him choose some sort of hot wheels or something.

“Nah.” He said, catching your hand. “How about a kid instead?”


	28. (Special Chapter) Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some fluff for the cold :)

_Too cold._ Brian thought to himself as he zipped his jacket way up to his chin before putting his hands in his pockets with a shiver. Huddled on a lone bench before the railings, it was the perfect spot for a cliched timelapse shot of the sunset over Han river. The sunset was perfect. Cold but beautiful. If only the crowd wouldn’t hinder the view of his camera which he haphazardly setup on the tripod beside him.

_What am I even doing here in the first place?_ He thought to himself. But it was his nth day in this city and he has run out of ideas. The other tourists in his guest house recommended the sunset in Haneul park. “Get a timelapse shot!” they cheered to his internal grimace. The idea was not enticing, but he might as well. For lack of better things to do.

He has already finished his 3rd cup of fish cake soup and yet the sun isn’t as down as he expected it to be. Or maybe he just ate too fast? He was getting bored. And cold.. especially cold. _Ramen sounds good. Maybe I’ll have some at the convenience store later._ His mouth watered just with the thought of the warm, spicy soup. His eyes wandered over the area, thoughtlessly people-watching, shivering every time a cold breeze blows. He rubbed his palms together and warmed his cheeks, fascinated by the way he could see how his breath fogged in front of him. _Few minutes more and we’ll go get that ramen,_ he thought, testing his patience.

“Sorry.” He heard some random voice uttering a word he actually recognized. He had already gotten used to tuning out the language most people spoke in this place so it was such a pleasant surprise hearing some familiar words.

He searched for that voice, hoping to make friends in this lonely, cold place. That’s when he first saw her, standing aimlessly amidst all the people. Like everyone else, she was watching the sunset, her hands in her pocket. But unlike everyone else, she was doing nothing, she seemed completely oblivious of the chaos around her. She was visibly cold but she somehow looked… warm? Peaceful, even, in the middle of the busy crowd. Maybe that’s what has drawn him to continue gazing at her. While everyone else was trying to find the perfect spot for the perfect shot, she was just.. there.

He noticed how she closed her eyes and took a deep breath and released it with a loud gasp that went unnoticed by most people, except him. He noticed everything—like how a single strand of hair escaped her carefully worn beret, or how she curled her fist inside her pocket, or how she slowly smiled after, as if a weight was lifted off her shoulder. He noticed everything and it somehow warmed him, too.. as if he found peace as she found hers.

He absentmindedly reached for his camera, giving up on his timelapse, as he suddenly felt the need to capture her in that moment. Through the camera lens, he saw how there was an obvious shift in her aura before she turned around and walked away, getting lost in the crowd before he could even stand up and reach her.

“That was a nice smile,” he whispered to himself, shaking his head at the lost opportunity. “Some people were just meant to pass by, I guess.”

But it took just a day for the universe to prove him wrong when he found himself seated beside her on the plane. Worse, he found himself adoring her clumsiness, her snobbish attitude, even her cold demeanor. _It was all a front,_ he thought to himself, as he found cracks in her attitude—the way she smiles, the way she blushes, and the way she tries to hide all of it.. he wanted more.

“Don’t block me!” he shouted. It might sound like he was teasing but he was everything but. He was seriously begging her to let him in, as they walked away from each other in the airport. He was all too smitten by someone he barely knew. How could that even be possible, right?

He found himself smiling at every post on her Instagram, he scrolled and scrolled, eager to know more about her in the fastest way possible. He was never a believer of waiting for the perfect timing—if you find it, you run for it.

“Sell me your Coldplay tickets, please!” Brian begged.

“I told you, I’d give it to you but not at your price! These were crazy expensive! And you’re such a cheapskate!” His friend spatted.

“The price of our friendship is always higher!” he grinned like a Cheshire cat. “When did I ever ask you for a favor?”

“You’re so annoying.”

“So, I’ve been told,” he shrugged.

“Whatever man, you can’t guilt trip me!” he laughed before walking away.

And he really couldn’t. He had to pay the full price. _What is friendship?!_ But in the end, it was all worth it. He never thought he’d ever spend that much money on concert tickets.. much more waking up and lining up too early for that. But to be that close to her, to somehow be that reason for her biggest smile and her softest tears.. it was definitely worthit. Coldplay was just the cherry on top.

He watched her fondly as she tried to catch those star-shaped confetti falling from the skies to the tune of his favorite song. He just had to get one for her.. and everything else she’d want.

“Cos you’re a sky full of stars.” _I’m gonna give you my heart._

And he was even more ecstatic when somehow, fate tried to bring them even closer together through Erin, that girl he once loved a little bit more than he should. Maybe, this is how the universe makes up to him for once breaking his heart, eh?

_Or not._ He thought as he saw this tall guy called Jae take her hand and sat her down beside him, tucking that stray hair behind her ear. She was different this time. Something’s not right. He felt some sort of rage inside him watching him do things he wanted to do himself—like making her feel comfortable… like making her smile… like taking her hand and shielding her away from whatever’s hurting her.

“I have to make a call,” he finally excused himself from Erin and the guys, stepping out and finally going after them. He suddenly felt the need to step closer, faster, to reach her.

“I like you.” He’s not letting any chances slip away and what a relief it was when she said Jae was just an almost.

It was very much short-lived though as she started ignoring him after. He thought she was just a bit busy but a week after, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He’s missing her and he might be losing her. So he finally ate up his pride and asked Erin for help.

“You really like her, huh?” Erin asked.

“Just give me your address, E. Please?” he gave her his fakest begging smile.

“You don’t have her consent! I’m not sure she’d appreciate you dropping by unannounced.” Of course, she knows better. They’ve known each other for the longest time.

“That’s why I’m asking for yours,” he shrugged. He was actually nervous about this but what is life without risks?

His heart has never beaten this fast before. Maybe because he’s never really confessed to anyone. Much more, beg her to take him. On Valentine’s Day. How clichéd could he be?

“I guess there’s no other way to do this than to ask… if… you could be my girlfriend? Date me for real… for good?” His voice might have a cracked a bit, he prayed she wouldn’t notice. She was trying hard to stifle a laugh as he bared his heart out to her and that made him even more unsure.

“I mean, I know we haven’t really known each other for so long, but I’m pretty sure I like you. Too much. And we have lots of time to do that and figure it out together in the future, don’t we? I’m not asking you to marry me. Yet, at least. I want to do a lot of things with you without apprehensions.” Words would always flow out the most whenever he’s nervous. “I want to _be_ with you.”

He was so confused when he laughed to his face, squishing both his cheeks like some kid she found at a playground. If his heart was already beating too fast when he confessed, he felt like it totally stopped beating when she dropped him a peck on the lips. Then ran away after.

“Figure it out yourself.” She said before hiding in the bathroom. He had to calm himself and tone down his widest smile before running after her. Valentine’s day is a happy occasion afterall.

He felt so reassured that he didn’t really mind her going out with Jae the day after. Or whenever. She loves him, too. It actually felt like he knows her much more than she knows herself, in their shortest time together—every thought she hides, every smile she fakes.. he sees them all. He trusts her. He believes her. She just has to believe in him too.

Erin will always be an important part of his life and that is maybe one of the things that will never change. However, all other aspects of his life has. That chapter where he fell for her and hoped they could ever be more? It was long over. He was never greedy for Erin—he’s in for whatever makes her happy. And seeing her happy with Sungjin made it easier to let go.

Sure, finding out that she also fell for him boggled his mind for a little, but it really changed nothing now. More than anything, he just wanted to clear Y/N’s mind and not cause her any worry. What’s different maybe is how he feels so possessive of her, wanting to shield her from the world, be the reason for her happiness.

And he’ll just have keep on giving her reasons to believe. That is his life mission now. To make her smile.. continue making her smile.. here beside him.

_Never let go of what makes you smile,_ he thought as he held her hand tightly as they walked down the grocery aisles, wearing matching knitted colorful cardigans on a holiday weekend. Other shoppers looked at them fondly, while others were obviously judging how they’re parading themselves as a couple.

“Admit it,” she pulled her hand to put distance between them, annoyed now of all the unwanted attention.

“What?” he asked her innocently, obviously enjoying it.

“You purposely left my jacket I asked you to bring so you could make me wear these matching cardigans!”

“Wow. Why would I do that?” he chuckled before catching her hand again, “And if you don’t like it that much, then you’re very much welcome to take it off.”

She scoffed and avoided his eyes. “It’s too cold,” she whispered softly.

“I told you I just have two of these because that one’s the wrong size for me. But isn’t it comfy? Snuggly? Cozy? Like I’m giving you a warm, warm hug..” he said in his most annoying cutesy voice.

“What do you want for dinner?” she ignored him, changing the topic while picking up some vegetables and putting it on the cart he was pushing with his other hand.

“Whatever you want to make,” he grinned. “You know I eat whatever.”

She rolled her eyes at him, “Which actually makes it harder. Come on,” she tugged his hand as if pushing him to think harder.

“Hmm...” he paused, actually thinking. “Maybe some oil pasta?”

“As expected,” she headed towards the pasta section.

He followed suit, whining. “You ask me what I want and then mock me for what I want.”

She laughed when she saw how he pouted like a kid throwing a tantrum. “I never mocked you for wanting me though.”

He raised his eyebrow, amused, “Oh yeah? What is this sudden rush of confidence, miss?” He put his arm around her shoulder to pull her to his chest. In the middle of the grocery store.

“This is a public place, Brian!” she hissed as she pulled away, fixing her rumpled hair.

He didn’t say anything as he just stared at her, smiling.

“What?!” she glared at him.

“You look good in my cardigan.”

She was visibly taken aback as her cheeks blushed. She won’t ever get used to this. “Well, it is warm,” she admitted. “Like you?”

He laughed at her attempt to get back at him. “Yes, I am warm and I am yours. That’s yours, too,” he admitted now, scratching his nape guiltily.

“I know. I know you, too, Bri,” she chuckled as she picked up a pack of pasta and put it in the cart, trying hard to hide her blush again. “You’re such a sucker for these couply things. Too sappy,“ she teased.

“Sappy?!” he seemed offended as he followed her again, walking towards a different section.

“I mean, that story of you finding me in that park? You’re just too much of a hopeless romantic for a guy.”

“What a non-believer,” he scoffed, rolling his eyes and catching her again by the shoulder and walking side by side. “You’re just too much of a cynic for a girl.”

“Cynic?! I think realist may be the right term.”

“Oh yeah? Do you love for me for real?” he murmured against her ear before dropping a kiss on her temple.

She pulled away and gestured at the cardigan they’re wearing. “I don’t know. What do you think?”

He tilted his head as if thinking for a bit. He scrunched his nose and reached for her to squish her cheeks. “I think you have the prettiest smile in my cardigan.”

“I thought this is mine?”

“You have the prettiest smile when you’re with me,” he said proudly. “I’m glad.”

“Thank you,” she said softly, looking up to him. “Always.”

He dropped his face lower, his nose touching hers. “All the time.”

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think :)
> 
> twitter.com/__peaj


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